status update on getting some help from the helping-ppl business... well... my new intern therapist gal seems nice, & Im grateful for whatever help I can get for now... after waiting & barely hangin on by a tiny fraction of a thread, for sooooooo long.... tho what I really need 2 support in my recovery is 4 my money/medi-cal/medicare situation 2 keep working correctly without ever havn any money sucked out of my check for not havn documents 4 working disabled Program chores, cuz at any point in time that isnt working correctly & the govrnmnt takes money out of my check, I am in danger of being homeless, & havn no place 2 go, no one 2 call, no money or resources 2 move or get my car towed, no other option but 2 kill myself if I end up homeless... so I really need those things 2 work correctly without any interruption, & then I need support & assistance creating urgent life/future saving solutions, and I need a good female therapist 2 work with on my psychotherapy 4 as long as it takes 2 support in my recovery who is a good fit 4 me 2 work with & has good personality, & qualities of character I can respect, & trust like Veda Ozelle, Rebecca Elder from my 2010 or Tanya Krause, Leah Queen, or Juliann Kripps howevr her 1st/last name spelled, from my age 17ish @ halloran hall... someone who isnt way 2 logical, rational, boring, stuffy, no sense of humor, needs 2 lighten up, loosen up, at least metaphoricly smoke a peace pipe or take a chill pill dude... or way too businesslike & professional, when my head works in more metaphors & metaphisics, cycles, patterns, routines, safe-familiar functions, & I identify as a sometimes autistic, sometimes artistic young child trapped in the body of a physically & psychiatricly disabled grown up who is also a human-angel hybrid (messenger of truth) and a Muse (a person whos normal, natural qualities of character, energy, essence, personality, & strengths get exaggerated in2 creating a mythological creature meant 2 encourage & inspire the arts & sciences. 4 me thats mostly musicians but sometimes others including the science of psychology or psychiatry....) & im playful, silly, in2 nature, naturopathic products, & holistic medicinals rather than chemical shit, & in2 laughing singing, dancing, communicating emotions while increasing positive endorphins thru music, singing, & thru dance... & I have childlike joy, faith, creativity, inspiration, caring, etc... so I need 2 work with someone who gets me... & is not homophobic & doesnt identify with abusers or discriminate against those with psychiatric disabilities, & who is my age or a bit older that sees me more as I am, draws out & encourages my strengths, & who I kno 4 sure im safe with & can trust being vulnerable with, trust their mistakes, ability 2 work things out in ways that r not further damaging & destructive 2 the client, their recovery, their home, freedom, safety, life/future, ability 2 trust, etc... bcuz they actually are worthy of trusting based on who they actually are, not who they pretend 2 b, who they think they are, or what they went 2 school for, or what initials go next 2 their name, but bcuz they have honor, decency, & integrity within them, so u can trust u are safe cuz they are the kind of ppl who would do the right thing simply bcuz its the right thing 2 do... so if they make mistakes... you are still in fact safe from being further damaged.... anyway... things still are up in the air & confusing Re: my money & medi-cal/medicare working disabled paperwork... I dont understand all that stuff... I understand performing familiar routines & functions from b4 my head was far too cookoo 4 cocoapuffs... & I can be very creative, & improvisational on things that do not require me 2 have more money or a way 2 get places more often, or transport items 2/from locations, or require other peoples permission, or interference, or me 2 have comprehension of documents, or me being interrogated or questioned about or reminded of the bad guys that deystroyed me my life & future the most that ppl normally write on papers where u r suppossed 2 list in the blanks requiring: emergency contact info. referrences, or work history... & do not require me to talk 2 or be trapped in enclosed areas or trapped by situations with any males, strangers, or assholes, ppl who are bullying, dominant, controlling, harrassing, threatening, violent, endangering, possessive, obsessive, stalkerish, ppl who have any predatory/agressive behaviors.... or do not require me 2 understand or remeber all the rules or how 2 tolerate, or accomplish anything that is a further threat or danger 2 me, my life, my home, freedom, freedom from being further traumatized, or terrorized, a threat or danger 2 my money, transportation ability, system of support or ability 2 get some help, or have any options, or have enuf money 2 live on...
Posted on: Wed, 13 Nov 2013 02:15:02 +0000
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