: substitute diaries ~ im part of a troubling ritual of assimilation as a substitute teacher. friday another 1st grade class. i substitute taught with a student teacher. did i gringe when the student teacher mantra-ed throughout the day, you need to fix that behavior? fix. fix? as if the emotion of a 7-year old girl is wrong. are feelings wrong? do i fix my disappointment as soon as i am told? do i fix my hurt as soon as i am told so you can have a better day? as a teacher, my goal is to make the day better for the students. this telling children to be quiet and get and stay in line is getting to me. stifling commands. how about as an educator i figure out what is going to get the attention of the people i teach and do that. yes, im doing a lot of performing on my substitute assignments. ive got second billing; the headliner is gone that day. i gots to be good. and most of the time i am good. and then i get tired or hungry or my feelings get hurt. so i ask forgiveness of the people i teach and they do forgive. im beginning to remember names by the end of the day. if i stay all day, i get to learn names. easier to teach when i know names. first names. easier to help heal, to comfort, to show compassion when i know names. and throughout the day, the students and i are doing things together that bond me to them, that has me learning from them. and then i leave at the end of the day with unfinished teaching, knowing that if i have an opportunity to return, ill participate less and less in those troubling rituals.
Posted on: Sat, 29 Nov 2014 06:08:34 +0000
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