thanks Interrpep.... TIPS TO GET YOUR MAN TO HEAR (AND LISTEN) TO YOU Sit Catty-Corner To him When Speaking Men sometimes perceive face-to-face interaction as an act of aggression, which often triggers the fight-or-flight response. But studies show that sitting catty corner to (or even beside) him so he isnt forced to make eye contact with you lowers his defenses by short-circuiting this stress response. Turn Off The TV Men dont multi-task nearly as well as women do. This is related to the fact that, in general, women activate more areas in their brain than men do when performing identical tasks. So, initiating a discussion with your partner while hes watching TV or surfing the Internet means you wont get his full attention. Ask For What You Want Are you looking for a solution to a problem? Emotional support? A chance to vent? Youre more likely to get the response youre hoping for if you spell it out for him. Thats because men are especially programmed to fix things, and it can be frustrating for both of you when a solution isnt what youre looking for. Stick to the facts. MRI scans reveal that men tend to listen with the logistical right half of their brains. That means theyre great at comprehending step-by-step details, but theyre likely to tune you out if you elaborate too much. Solution? Keep in mind that why he needs to do something really isnt important. He just needs to know what it is you need him to do! Say What You Mean Research has found that men have more difficulty than women reading facial expressions and body language. And unfortunately, women tend to use a lot of both to communicate, which can lead to frustrating situations for both of you. So, whether youre upset, tired, overwhelmed or even excited, say what youre thinking and feeling, and hes far more likely to be all ears. Write It Down A majority of men respond better to something concrete, like a note, a list, or even a drawing, than they do to something they hear. Thats because the male brain is more spatial and mechanical than the female brain...and more visually inclined. So if he sees what you need him to do in writing, hes more likely to remember to do it. Ask For An Echo Ask your partner to do something for you -- like pick up the kids after soccer practice tomorrow, and chances are, hell respond, Sure, then totally forget. Solution? Ask him to repeat what hes agreed to do: Yes, Ill pick up the kids from soccer practice tomorrow. How this works? Men arent as good at remembering conversations because they have fewer neural connectors between the memory center (hippocampus) and the verbal centers (frontal lobes) of their brains. But asking them to repeat what youve said not only helps strengthen these connections, it doubles the odds of his listening and remembering your request. Step closer Studies show that people will not use a trash can if its more than nine feet away, and the same typically goes for men and paying attention. For this reason, have sit-downs, or face-to-face exchange, at the kitchen table where he can focus on your face, hear every word, remember, and act on your requests.
Posted on: Thu, 08 May 2014 01:40:54 +0000
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