this is for you Lainie McCool Saylor Sailor, and your friend Kenny Clark The deer’s worst day I was just laughing over a post that someone from Louisiana just put up, where they suggested that if a biblical ten headed monster rose from the sea, someone would kill it and cook it in sauce picante and serve it up for dinner. This made me wonder if those guys were from around here. Perhaps all rural areas are the same, there is never a animal control problem, because someone looks upon an overabundance of any critter not so much as a nuisance but dinner on the run [and the added benefit of getting to hunt it as well] This also reminded me of a series of events that happened late one October night a few years ago. My husband David was heading home, coming down our road, it was twilight, and as usual he was driving altogether too fast, I warned him about this, especially during hunting season, I myself have creamed deer while cruising at a stately 25 mph, when they appeared in midair in front of my grill. But he was tired, his commute was long and our driveway a mere ¼ mile down the road, so he has to be forgiven for traveling at light speed, Suddenly a deer bolted from the bushes, with no warning, he hit it of course, throwing the animal about 20 feet. Pissed, he climbed from the car to inspect the damage to the front end, while he was checking out the busted headlight and crumpled grille, the bushes rustled again, and out stepped a hunter in full camouflage. “oh, dammit!” the guy cried,” I thought I winged that deer and I was tracking it.oh, well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be” and without another word he disappeared back into the bushes. A few seconds later, the bushes on the other side of the road rustled, and out stepped our hillbilly neighbor Thor. {At this point, I need to point out that this is New Jersey, one of the most heavily populated states in the union. Even when you think you are alone, you never really are, the fact that the woods are crawling with people ceased to be a surprise to us a long time ago, which is why David wasn’t even startled by the fact that people kept popping out of the bushes on a lonely isolated road] “so, “said Thor “Ah see yall hit a deer” by way of an opening conversational gambit “yup” said David Getting right to the point, Thor asked”Yall gonna eat thet?” “Uh, no” said David, sort of taken aback, “mind if I do?” said Thor “uh, be my guest” said David, so chuckling to himself, Thor grabbed the deer’s legs and drug it back into the bushes, leaving David alone on the road. The next day, I ran into Thor and I asked him if he had finished carving up the deer. “Nope” he said sadly, “how come?” I asked, “wal, ah was sharpening ma knives down in the barn, when damnded if the deer didn’t wake up, rise up and ran away, I was sorely disappointed let me tell you” Later that day I was telling my assistant Chris that story, and I remarked how that was the worst day ever for that poor deer. Chris replied, “No it was the best day ever for the deer, the hunter shot at it and missed, it was hit by a car and only knocked out, and it regained consciousness just in time to escape being eaten by the hillbilly, so you see it was his best day ever” Chris was right of course, it is all a matter of perspective.
Posted on: Sun, 21 Jul 2013 19:34:57 +0000
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