tl;dr Depressed Blog yay I dont know why I would write this. Please dont read it unless you care to comment something other than feeling pity for me (feel better soon comments are nice but I am looking for some weird metaphorical poetic type of sayings). I feel like a phony whiny idiot crying for attention as I write this but maybe someone will figure out what to say and hopefully Ill feel better. Yes I can choose to feel better but it doesnt seem right. Kind of like it would not be okay to be happy at a funeral. Maybe I am sad/depressed over my Japanese-language teachers passing, or that it is December and it brings the worst of memories, or that my singing skills have not improved much, or that I am worried about being hated by a lot of people in the future because of the way her career image will change after our marriage, or that my dreams/visions have been more accurate than I am comfortable with, or that I am not as social as Id like to be. I have messed up a lot (self harm) and I deserve the way i feel emotionally/physically/spiritually. Im not worried about how to do anything or even what to do but rather why? I hate very few things but what I hate most is the idea of time travel. Also hate that I have such a difficult time communicating with others because I have to keep a lot of things about the world to myself and these things always influence what I do. I should be asleep.
Posted on: Mon, 08 Dec 2014 08:09:38 +0000
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