u kno the hardest thing to live with in myself is not that i put my hands on her but the fact that my kids will kno about it someday is the part that makes me not want to go on but i do it for them does that make sents when all hope is lost when my heart is dead and gone i dnt want my kids to hate me thats why i do it thats why i want to make the change because i dnt want my kids to hurt like i hurt i dnt want them to look at me and say daddy why did u do this why were u like that but that is the thing i have to live with averyday i havent slept a full nights rest inless i am drunk in weeksi was never really able to sleep ever sents it happened the first time i feel like i couldif ended it a long time ago but u kno some peaple i guess just revuse to give up i dnt want to give up and i wont its just there is pain that i want replace in place of all that anger inside me and i dnt kno if i can do it but i will fight faliure is not a option for me i never want to give up again ever and u never really kno what giving up is intel u lose something u cnt get back it hurts worse then life its self and when u get up in the mourning to foul urself into beliving u can stand the man looking back at all ur really doind is lieing to urself because it was me who did the wrong it was me who raised my hand and it was me who gave up so when i sit here and tell u i am wrong i mean it and i dnt exspect the peaple i love to fogive me thats not what this is for this is for the men out there who fight and struggle avery day who think they can do it on there own and i am here to tell u U CANT and u never will ask for help befor its to late dnt end up like me
Posted on: Wed, 09 Oct 2013 05:25:01 +0000
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