well, here we are again on one of my least favorite holidays, when all my most traumatic deaths generally happen, when pilgrims forever twatted up the idea that white people can ever be cool; tanks and shit rolling down the street of at least one town in my country, black friday looming (it admittedly does not affect me, but i have to listen to everybody talk about it) and sportsball at its peak, the contrived regional rivalry on most tv sets all over, all of anniston pissed because dave dropped a dog...... i could go on; there is so much wrong with this particular holiday and the things flying around it that it might get long. but even with all of this, i find myself enjoying today. i woke up from a dream about what my life could be like (much like george bailey, except im not suicidal. or scrooge, except im not haunted) and realized it is a good day. it is a really good day. so, while my family lies around and the turkey cooks, and the dog occasionally wassails, and the cat keeps insisting on my lap, ill do my thankful list. it will be difficult, because i am thankful for so much. i will give you ten. ten things. probably with sub-categories, you know what im like. 1) im walking upright, can climb a ladder, lift pianos, and use my marvelous hands--and i get to. i see colors perfectly, and i have perfect pitch. im a strong person with few physical troubles. i have an interestingly-balanced brain that suits my purposes quite well. pretty good stature and a splendid head of hair....i am very thankful for my physical presence. 2) i have a van the size of a herculon battle jitney that is outrageously paneled inside with more wood than a houseboat. i also have my dream bike, and a shed. i will be more thankful for the lil truck when it gets over its bronchitis. so i am thankful to our lady of lesbian transportation. (madonna) 3) my dad, my brother, my stepmom and my neice, my stepsisters, and anyone who falls under the relative category, because they are all very cool people whom, if i dont see some of them often, i still miss and get along with. 4) im working in a theater/performance environment again. i realize it has been three years of this but, after what seemed like an eternity drudging away in a tattoo shop, nothing but aggressive natures, addicts, and dysfunction surrounding me, i am now free to shroud myself in an infinitely more welcome and benign form of dysfunction. also, apparently no matter what art form i do, it has to have some sort of basis in antiquity, and i am also thankful for that, because it tickles me. 5) max and byob. 6) that i have a friend like Kim. if anyone finds our friendship weird (and it is), i would suggest re-evaluating your concept of human interaction. you might be overlooking an amazing person, with treasure. while it is true we fight sometimes (i prefer to think of it as artistic collaboration), its because we care about the show. it doesnt affect how we work together; i totally get that its just hard to admit that i am always right. 7) cast, itself. this group has basically been eighty percent of my life for three years now. no group is perfect, but this one is a really good blend of perfect and, lets say challenging. and no assembly is nameable in completion, so i wont even try to list the names of the people that make up cast and its intrinsic awesomeness. especial thanks to Howard, who does more than anyone can imagine. between howard and kim at the very fundamental level busting their asses in their respective categories, there is a cast at all, to be thankful for. 8) that i am resilient, analytical, and desire reality as my preferred outlook. im not sure what i am trying to say here, maybe just that i am thankful for my worldview. remember, most emotions are just your brain lying to you, via chemicals. 9) that i am having THIS much fun doing a play that is not even one of my favorites. the drop-painting part gets lonely, and i had some unexpected stress in my life, and Suzycidal helped with the drop, and bonded with me. she is an easy person to laugh with, and i work well with that. by the time wed finished and hung the thing and i could join rehearsals, my mood had lifted and the stress had disappeared like it had never been there, and i started to remember why we all put ourselves through this sort of thing over and over. vie to, even. i love all these crazy people...for a person who doesnt like people, that is something to be thankful for. 10) Suzette (i am changing your name to suzy on fb so i dont have to tag your given name, honey) i saved you for last, because you are actually first. you put me in this life, you peeled away layers of anger and other awful things that had gotten stuck to me, and you encourage me to do whatever i want to do; that it was more important to be happy than to try to please the world, or even you; that you were tickled just for me to experiment with interacting with the world. you allow me to be irrational long enough to get to the rational, and you are more patient than most boulders. you are my smizmar and you allow me to share your life without complaint, or even arguments. i dont think we have ever had a fight. i am thankful to you because you are my partner, and not my burden.
Posted on: Thu, 27 Nov 2014 20:47:20 +0000
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