you know how people say, well you must have needed to learn this - TopicsExpress

you know how people say, well you must have needed to learn this lesson? Do we realize the incredibly abusive, punitive message in that? You so badly needed to be taught something, the only way I could get through to you was to rip this person from your life. You can only be taught through severe pain. Thats a message of abuse. That is a message rooted in corrective other-izing, not in love. How about the lesson structure of - please let me show you how deeply, entirely loved you are. How about - given that these random, unfathomable things have happened, please let me teach you that you are loved and supported, even here. Especially here. Those are love lessons, not punitive corrective lessons. If you need to learn anything, lets believe in a love lesson - to remind a thing of its loveliness, as the poet Galway Kinnell says.

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