youtu.be/8UHBkWrzZ-Q yesterday my world changed forever. for the - TopicsExpress



          

youtu.be/8UHBkWrzZ-Q yesterday my world changed forever. for the past 3 nights ive waken up at 4:30 am and my stomach would start turning and now i know why. i found out yesterday that ive lost my dad. A light inside me turned off and everything i look at seems different somehow. ive always thought it was weird when people put these kinds of posts on Facebook for the world to see..but i now understand that its part of a healing process for some of us. those of you who knew my dad or our family know that life was never easy by any means. he had his demons like we all do..his just liked to drag everyone around him down too. i cut contact with him about 8 years ago after moving to WA, but in the past few years i decided to let him back into my life and im thankful that i did.I realized that it was his addictions that I hated so much, not him.. last summer was the last time i saw him and ill keep those memories forever because they were the happiest with him. i stayed with him for a week and brought abe with so they could meet. if i knew itd be the last time id see him i would have stayed longer. in that short time i could see so much pain and regret for the past in his eyes..it hurt to see so much sadness in him but i loved seeing his face light up with pride every time hed talk about me or my siblings... i told him that i loved him..and that i forgave him for everything. for all the hurtful words and actions..and for not being there like he should have. i just hope he forgave himself before he went. Ill never forget how happy he looked that week flying his huge kite over the ocean..that smile on his face. he was fun to be around..if you had a real conversation with him you could see that he had a lot of love in his heart...he was just so broken that he didnt always know how to show it. he was such a goofy guy..ill forever remember him doing the running man :) I know hed want me to just take a shot for him and party for him..thats just the kind of guy he was.... Dad, even though weve been to hell im a stronger person because of you. Im tough and fearless and ill be forever thankful to you for that. Im so sorry that this happened to you and Jade. I love you so much, and I forgive you.
Posted on: Wed, 20 Aug 2014 13:18:03 +0000

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