youtube/watch?v=1vrEljMfXYo This is the only state Ive ever lived in. Im thankful,despite Im in the city,theres still signs of nature. I wouldnt be able to handle living in a big city. Too much noise and husle. If I had my way Id be living with the cows and learning to ride horses but I have to settle with what Ive got. My grandpa used to be able to come out. Hes a country boy you see and couldnt make it out here a whole lot. Hes too sick now. I think hes the reason I like old country trucks so much. I dont like cars they show on tv but I love the old rugged trucks. Not the newer trucks but the older looking ones. I cant drive but if I could thatd be something that would be so cool to drive. He used to be able to take us places in his truck and we even got to go further away from the city before. I took advantage of him being there,never thought hed get sick. I remember around the time we found out what had happened,this was back in the Fall of 09,we had a kitten. It was just a little black and white kitten. It died shortly after. Im not sure of what. Its little neck was bent back and was dieng. Mom took it outside. Dont ever get to see my grandpa. So much has changed since the Fall of 09. I wouldnt have taken him for granted if I would have known. Hes far away in a nursing home in the country. The only other grandparent I got to meet [well I also had pap pap Mac but he died when I was 2 so I dont remember him],my dads mom...I took her fro granted as well. I was so busy playing those stupid handheld pokemon video games. She died in May of 05. If I could go back and change things I would have put the stupid game down and paid more attention to her. But I was just a dumb 13 year old who didnt know any better. I didnt realize I would only get to spend my 13th birthday with her as the last in March of 05... Im 22 but have regrets about things in life. Stupid things I should have done differently. Its just really hard because theres the fear that one day my moms cousion Jerry will come tell us [we see him in another town randomly] that grandpa died. The fear that I wont get to see my grandpa again...never get to give him one more hug or tell him I love you grandpa. Forgiving yourself is harder than forgiving others.
Posted on: Sat, 15 Nov 2014 03:40:21 +0000
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