לפני שבועיים בדיוק עלינו לקברו של אבא שלי זל ודוד שלי פיטר קרא את אחד ההספדים המדהימים ששמעתי בחיי. לבעלי האנגלית הטובה מביניכם הנה תמצית חייו של אבי: Tribute to Jack – 11 August 2014 I am grateful to June, Michael, Ilana and Daniel for offering me this opportunity to express some thoughts at a time when we have come together to mark Jack’s final resting place. Michael and Daniel spoke so eloquently at the levaya about their father and today I want to do so from the perspective of a twin brother. I hope that you will forgive me if I pause occasionally. Our loss is still very raw and I may have some difficulty in getting through without the occasional short break, so please bear with me. The family have tried to encapsulate Jack’s life and achievements on his matzeva in the following few words – איש חזון ומעש ישר דרך בעל לב רחב אהוב על משפחתו וחבריו A talented man of vision and deeds; A man of integrity, warmth and generosity; Deeply loved by his family and friends. I hope that we have managed to capture the essence of his life in these few words but recognise that, as the years pass, people who visit or walk past his matzeva will only have a glimpse of the totality of what Jack meant to so many people. I hope that in a small way, within this gathering of so many of his family and friends that I can make up for a small amount of that deficiency. For those of you who are not, let me tell you that being an identical twin is one of life’s great privileges. The bond that exists with an identical twin cannot be broken as each one’s life is inextricably intertwined with the other and so it was with the two of us. Despite the physical similarities and as we each developed our own characteristics and our lives moved in different ways the love and concern for each other never wavered and I was as proud of him as he always seemed to be of me. We had the same strange sense of humour and the same positive attitude to life and its ups and downs. We had identical voices which not only confused those we spoke to on the phone but also ourselves. It is a strange experience listening to a message you have left to remind yourself about something and wondering what on earth your brother is talking about. Jack was someone who was larger than life in so many ways and I only hope that I share, even if only in a small way, just some of those qualities that we have engraved on his stone. To say that Jack was talented is an understatement. He was supremely talented and excelled in many areas. As a public speaker; a raconteur; a debater or as a teacher of the highest quality – very few came close to his ability to enthral, enthuse, engage or simply entertain. My post and my inbox have been full since his passing with messages from many people who were young then but much older now, and who remember him with deep affection from the years that he taught at Hasmonean and Yavneh Grammar schools. Jack’s own reference to those days in Week 6 of his remarkable Blog says, with typical Jack self deprecation – “My first permanent post was at the Hasmonean Grammar School where I taught a number of subjects - none of which I remember and less of which my pupils remember”. If only he could have read my post he would have realised just how wrong he was and how much lasting impact his teaching had on so many others. He was an avid reader with a wonderful memory and I will ever be grateful to him for introducing me to Archie the cockroach and Mehitabel the feral cat, as he did in week 37 of his blog, as well as for reminding me, with his numerous references in the blog, of the songs we used to sing together privately and in public which, despite what Judith and June frequently insisted were old and dated, we recognised as being as relevant to today as ever. Later on in life, he made such a success over the 18 years he spent as Deputy-Director of the British Council in Israel, that his imaginative English language programmes were adopted for use in their offices around the world – not bad for a boy born in a mining village near Chesterfield, to immigrants fleeing from the German army, who could barely speak a word of English when they arrived in England only months before he was born – 10 minutes after me, I should add! His talents also extended to the field of music. Although he only had the most rudimentary musical education, learning to play the piano for a very short period, he became sufficiently proficient that as well as being able to play virtually any other musical instrument that he picked up he became a regular entertainer whenever called upon to do so - and even when not called upon to do so. Not many people know (although a number of you here today will recall) that Jack was expert at playing the Chalil (better known as a recorder) whilst simultaneously balancing a chair or bench on his chin. I managed the latter but never the combination of recorder and chair and if that wasn’t talent, I don’t know what is. When it comes to vision and ideas there are so many instances of Jack’s ability to see opportunities that others were unable to spot that I hardly know where to begin. Whether it was his Bar Mitzvah recording company; the use of computers to match couples; his famous Orange kiosks that subsequently made a fortune for others, if not for Jack; his Fourth World Haggadah published in multiple languages; his ambitious fundraising schemes or his English language teaching initiatives, Jack possessed a far sightedness and enthusiasm that always made him someone worth listening to. But I believe that what Jack will be remembered for, more than any of his other visionary activities was his vision to carry his educational skills into providing the facilities for Haredim to enlarge and improve their learning into areas that previously were taboo for many of them. With Kemach’s support they are being helped to gain qualifications, to move into the wider workforce, improving their chances of earning a living and becoming fully independent and productive citizens. I like to believe that the vision, energy and skill that Jack employed into helping Kemach become established and guiding it into becoming a leader or even the leader in this field, has guaranteed his place in Olam Haba – though I suspect that Jack, with his irreverent sense of humour, will be laughing at any such suggestion. Jack was also a man of deep integrity who could not bear unfairness – who fought for a fair deal and a fair hearing for others, often at great cost to himself. His own needs were always modest and he always, always took the side of the underdog. His concern for others was genuine – never patronising - and his jokes and banter, an inevitable part of his character, even when politically incorrect or irreverent, were never malicious. When it comes to warmth and generosity Jack was in a class of his own. Even in the depths of his appalling illness he smiled or tried to smile, even when that required an effort that was beyond him. His smile was genuine and infectious and would inevitably be accompanied by an enquiry about others welfare. If someone was ill, he was the first to offer help and if that meant travelling overseas just to be with a sick friend he was there. He didn’t wait to be asked he simply went. I know that there are a number of people here today who will happily and gratefully give testament to that. Jack was a wonderful husband who took such care of June –unstintingly helping with the many tasks which she was unable to undertake. He was a caring and constant supportive father to Michael, Ilana and Daniel and an adoring and adored grandfather to his 6 grandchildren. Nothing gave him more pleasure, both when he was well and even more so when he was unwell, than to have them visit him or he visit them and the love he showered on them was reciprocated in full measure. His closeness to our two brothers, Joe and Henry, zichronam livracha, who predeceased him, their wives and their children, was reflected in the pleasure he derived from their company and his interest in their wellbeing and their interest in him – particularly when it became clear that he was suffering from the untreatable and deadly illness to which he finally succumbed. The same applied to Judith and my children and grandchildren, who loved him beyond measure. I never spoke with him or visited him without his enquiring about each of them and the delight that he showed in their achievements or idiosyncrasies was as fulsome as my own. I will never forget the smile that always greeted me when we would visit him even if the one that Judith got was inevitably broader than the one I received. Two days ago, we celebrated Ori’s Bar-Mitzvah and despite our concerns on how we would get through what we feared might be a difficult Shabbat emotionally; it was a wonderful and happy occasion. There was, however, one unexpected and particularly emotional moment for me. During Seudah Shlishit on Shabbat, when we were singing a number of songs, we began one that unexpectedly brought tears to my eyes. The song and the words are well known. “Mi ha’ish, hechafetz chaim, ohev yamim, lirot tov”. Who is the man who desires life, loving each day and only seeing good? Mi ha’ish? – “Who is the man?” - That man was Jack. A man who loved and lived life to the full. A man who not only saw good in everything and everyone but sought to do good. A man who never failed to prick pomposity, in me or anyone else. A man who brought laughter, fun and joy to his family and friends and whose company was sheer delight. A man who inspired so many, particularly when demonstrating how to face up to the most difficult moments in life. None can have been more challenging than those last many months of his disease when we witnessed his immense courage and how he was able to remain positive and confident that he could cope with his increasing disability. He did not complain or dwell upon his inevitable ultimate fate and treated it with that astonishing humour for which we all loved him. He has left us a wonderful legacy of how a life should be lived. As we have inscribed on his matzevah, for the benefit of those who will visit his final resting place in the future, Jack was truly a man of many talents, of vision and deeds; A man of integrity, warmth and generosity. He was deeply loved by all who knew him and is and will continue to be deeply missed by us all. Yehi zichror baruch. May his memory be a blessing.
Posted on: Mon, 25 Aug 2014 10:24:13 +0000
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