وأما بنعمة ربك فحدث... Every year on this day (13th of August) Basil and I celebrate the birth of our twin daughters who we lost in 2004 due to complications from a premature delivery at the very beginning of their 7th month of gestation. We donate to a selected charity as a birthday gift and we urge our friends to do the same. This year marks the tenth year since this incident that basically changed the course of Basil and Is life, and affected where and how we decided to live, which led us to immigrate to the US. However, this year is special because I believe that God sent us a clear gift and message that is so poignant and significant that it needs to be shared as a small inspiration to others. I recently shared it with a friend who was going through a loss and she told me that she found it uplifting so here I go, despite our cultural inclination to keep good news quiet lest it invite the wrong kind of energy, I will share this story with my friends as a form of celebration of my little angels’ birthday and a way of expressing gratitude and faith in God. The twins and Ferris were a result of countless IVF/Fertility treatment attempts because I was struggling with infertility issues. After Ferris’s delivery (our first child to survive the circumstances of his birth), we were told that there was so much damage to the Uterus because of the back to back pregnancies and their complications that I really would not have any more children. Accordingly, Basil and I turned towards exploring adoption. We went through the Alameda County training and took our turn to be placed with a child through social services. In the final few steps of this process, I discovered I had become pregnant on my own with no medical intervention for the first time in my life. My daughter Layla, an unexpected miracle that I was told by doctors wouldn’t happen arrived on October 13th of 2009.. October 13th was the twin’s original due date had I carried them to term. Coincidence? Well it gets better…Last year Basil and I thought, since I was turning 39 that this could be our last chance to have a third child. Given how far we were from our families, we saw the significance of trying to make our own family bigger. With our history, we thought we would give it a shot and then accept the outcome whatever it was, without seeking any fertility assistance. Oddly enough, I was able to conceive for the first time intentionally and without medical intervention. We were shocked that we were able to do it, but even more shocked to sit in the doctor’s office and have him hand us a paper, after our first ultra sound saying that this baby’s due date was August 13th the day our twins were born prematurely… It could have been any day of the year but there it was on the form….we took a picture of it Surely enough at our 6th month ultra sound they told us (as Basil and I suspected all along) that this one was a girl too…So August 13th 2004 we handed God back two angels that we thought we were destined to have…and ten years later God made sure that by August 13th of 2014, we would have them both back. Lara Elway was actually born August 11th …but I have received my message and I know of its significance and I am thankful beyond words that my experience has been reversed and in such an obvious way that it deepens my faith in God and his greater plan for all of us. As I look at my body now that looks and feels like a hotel room that a rock group has recently checked out of…I remember looking at it after the twins’ funeral and wondering as I inspected the damage that left me childless, if I would ever experience the joy of being a parent at all. After so many attempts, I was broken and exhausted and I felt that their death was too haunting for me to survive. In ten years it was all set back straight…and the course of my life, though drastically changed, is something I am proud and thankful to have. I thank God for everything now and take nothing for granted and I have learned to grasp that the painful moments are as significant as the joyful ones. I invite you all like a do every year to celebrate the birthday of little “May” and “Layla” who past away in 2004 by donating to a charity in their memory today :) And I invite you to celebrate with me the birth of my fourth daughter and 5th child Lara Basil Elway
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 19:49:50 +0000
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