#OFFSIDE.... Alabaster House Assembly... Prophet Ernest Agortey a.k.a. No.1 of the Alabaster House Assembly (Where Discovery Brings Recovery) is one man of God that much has been said & heard of in the City of Port Harcourt. So I thought its high time I get a 1st hand feel of the Alabastan Spirit. Besides, this Ghanaian pastor was becoming more popular than urs truly & I really needed to know why & how...If na u nko? So off I went! On alighting at Rumuigbo Market, his new sign board will be the 1st thing to catch ur attention. It means many things to many pple. To me, I felt he was telling shut up...but why? I asked myself. Well, all the more reason why Ive got to complete my missionary journey. So I entered the market road in search of the church, which every resident there happens to be familiar with. At last I got there! 9 am was the time with sunday school still in progress, but with few students in the various classes. I quickly took my seat at the back as usual, refusing to sit where an usher had directed me to. I knew it wasnt gonna be long before the action starts, as few mins later, our teacher got a revelation. Pointing to a lady two chairs in front of me,I see celebration. Ull celebrate in 2014...a rousing amen followed. How did I miss that, I asked myself. If only I had sat at the exact chair the ursher earlier offered me, which was next to the lady, perhaps God could have noticed me quickly & shifted the prophecy to me...or bad as e bad sef, we for share am. Well, at least Prophet time go come, I consoled myself. Then the ladies started trooping in. Oh! What a sight to behold! Different shapes & sizes, dressed to kill. The few guys coming too no gree carry last. The hair styles, from dreads to gallas to punk; dyed, fried or boiled...no be play o. Some ladies are indeed bad painters. Some with sweat dripping down their faces, one would think they have Hausa tribal marks. While some might get the angel bringing their blessings that morning so confused that he might be forced to return the blessings back to God cos he couldnt identify the real person. Yeah, it was that serious...that Nwa teacher had to order us,look here, look here, when the distraction became unbearable for him. The church came together for the sunday school summary, by which time the nicely ddecorated auditorium was filled to capacity. The choir & their band and the elders section on either side of the altar. The choir & band led us thru 30 mins of quality praise & worship session so much so that I almost forgot my main mission there. No surprise there cos that was actually my favourite part of any service, except u want me to sleep thru the sermon. Then came offering time which we did for two rounds. Did I say two? Or so I thought until I saw them filling out for round 3. Unfortunately, I had to let forgo this round as water don pass garri for where my pocket dey. Soon after that, 2 pple testified to Gods Glory while the remaining two were to Alabasters (so I also thought), even as we were made to cue & tap into it...una know how na! As that was going on, the oga kpata-kpata himself walked in from his office, accompanied by his two assistant prophets; all with similar hairstyles, dressing & blings (big cross on their necks, similar to the one Joseph carried for Jesus). See fine young men, not up to 40, walked to their reserved seats. The pastors behind them were not also more than 40 or there about. Wow! A breakdown of the churchs demographic: 80% are females, 75% are youths below 40-45yrs, while the rest are older. After what seems to be an endless wait, Prophet eventually mounted the pulpit with a standing ovation from the congregation. Hes a man of his pple. They luv & adore him. He sang one or two worship songs & we prayed. Then I observed again...everybody (except me of course) claps while they pray, while those with the microphones speak in strange tongues...perhaps, all to give the prayers the desired melody & rhythm. Na so I reason am o! Sermon time: 12 noon. (Haba! Since 9am o). Topic was Love Revolution. Text: John 21:6-17. Before he kicked into gear, he caught a revelation too. Hear him,the Lord wants someone to replace the tiles on the altar with brand new shinny ones. Come see where pple dey struggle to spend their money. No do, no do, the chosen one emerged & No. 1 instructed him to wipe the surface of the 1st step of the altar with his palm from east to west & shake his hand with it. He blessed him afterwards. He entered his element. He went on and on abt luv for almost an hour. When he walks towards a section of the church, the pple in that area stands for him until he leaves to the next place. Protocols in strategic locations also come around him as he moves abt. I must also give him some credits. He has charm & charisma, a good orator, fusing pidgin with english, throwing in some few funny punchlines to make the house more lively. I laughed my heart out. Once in a while, he addressed the negative perception of his church. But he was not moved, as he boasted of having several loyal, staunch & die-hard followers who can fight or slap anybody that dares tarnish the name of Alabaster or Prophet Agortey. And with the rousing roar that greeted that statement, I began fearing for my life. What if they catch me spying on them? That one dey too! I took a quick glance at my fone. Time check was 1:30 pm. I no dey stay for chuch reach like this no matter the mission. So like in primary school, I looked right, then left, front & back, stood up & adjusted my belt like I was going to take a leak...na go I dey so. Though slightly disappointed as I didnt witness any miracle or prophecy of note...service at Alabaster was fun!!!
Posted on: Mon, 20 Jan 2014 11:30:37 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015