#1. Tired I used to be tired but in the last 2 years since Scott is now 14 and has matured a lot, I can sleep more peacefully at night nor do we run the roads with therapies like we used to. #2. Jealousy I admit. I get jealous. A LOT! I see other boys his age and wow! TO have a boy in boy scouts or baseball or even playing with toys or ANYTHING boys are into. That would be something I would love to see. I know. He is awesome the way he is and I love him for that. But I would be lying if I said I wasnt envious while watching teen boys do teen boy things instead of mine pacing back and forth flapping his hands walking on his toes. #3. Alone I used to. But I have found a great circle of like minded moms. #4. Scared YES! All the time! And the older he gets, the more scared I get. I fear for his future and mostly his future without Brian and I there to care for him #5. Words do hurt. Shut up! Watch what you say. When you say someone is retarded or they must be on the short bus I take it very personally! Because, well! It is personal! #6. Human Yes! I am! I get a little pissed off when Scott doesnt want to stop at the dump on the way home from work and starts kicking the back of the seat. That really does bother me. I want to listen to the music I want and I get tired of always being dictated/directed by his behavior. I dont like spongebob on the tv all day and the speakers are WAY TO LOUD! BUT! Despite these things I dont like, he does. So because he has few things he likes, I put up with it. Not always happily, but I do for him. #7. Its more like I want to talk TO my son I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to have a conversation with Scott. Just have that simple back and forth how was your day type of conversation is something I long for. But instead I get I dont like conversation with a slam of his Nintendo DS to the table. Maybe another year or 2 or 3?
Posted on: Mon, 08 Sep 2014 23:45:35 +0000
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