A HEALTHY CENTRED RELATIONSHIP: I need to talk about these things!! I am often asked, How do I know if I am in a healthy dating relationship? Here are a few ways to tell. Proverbs 27:17 tells us, As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. When two swords rub against one another, they result in two even sharper and better swords. The same should be true when two believers are together. They should make each other stronger in the Lord. They do this by encouraging the other to grow in the Lord, exhorting each other to become more like Jesus each time they are together. Positive constructive changes are produced in one another. A healthy relationship looks like a triangle. The man and woman stand at the bottom corners. At the top of the triangle is God. As each person moves closer to God, they move closer to each other. The focus of each individual is the Lord. The question to ask about the person you are dating is, Do I get closer to God as a result of being with this person? or Do I love Jesus more today because of our time together? If you can answer yes, you have the makings of a healthy relationship. A second indicator comes by looking at the relationships around you. Look at your relationships with your friends, your parents, your pastor, and older mentors. Are these relationships being strengthened or weakened as a result of your dating relationship? In a healthy relationship, these friendships are strengthened. In unhealthy dating relationships, the couple often isolate themselves from others. This is unhealthy for several reasons. One person cannot meet all your needs. There will come the time when you need other friends. Yet, unless you take the time to build other relationships now, later when you need the friendship of others, they may not be there. Often, one person in the relationship will try to dominate the time of the other. Because this person is insecure, they will be very possessive of the other. This leads to a relationship built on selfishness, distrust, and security. When I see relationships deteriorating between the dating couple and their parents, older mentors, or pastors, it is often because the dating couple has something to hide. Dishonesty to parents and others is not a foundation for solid relationships.
Posted on: Mon, 19 Jan 2015 08:52:14 +0000
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