A while ago, during a conversation with a pastor who had stocked my books, I noticed he kept looking at my hands. When he could not contain his curiosity anymore, he said, Im looking for a ring or the mark of a ring if youve taken it off. Ive read the book and it is too raw not to be real. I laughed, because thats what many people say/assume when they read it. Then, they start looking at me #OneKainWay & the ones that have liver, start asking #SomeKainQuestions Forever There For You is not my story, but its the story of a lot of women - some Ive met, some Ive never met. Contrary to what some jokers (who think they are writers) believe, you do not have to personally experience something before youre able to write poignantly about it. Just like you do not have to personally experience something to be compassionate towards someone whos in that situation. You just need to be a human being. Not a shell. I read certain things and I am shocked afresh by the sheer insensitivity (and actually cruelty) that it takes to form certain mindsets. I beg you in the name of God - if a man is beating you, LEAVE. None of that for better, for worse crap. Its not in your Bible, oh! None of that my pastor said nonsense. Let your pastor give his biological daughters to abusers and bury their broken bodies, if he wishes. None of that people will say brouhaha. Please, let them say. They are already saying. The women who will say Shes a stupid woman who could not hold her home if you divorce the mad man you married, are the same ones who will say, Shes a stupid woman; why didnt she just leave? She allowed a man to kill her for nothing. In my experience, men who are not abusers (closet or open) will ask a woman who is being abused to leave, without judging her. But WOMEN will look down on their fellow women & even rejoice in their misfortune. Your pastors wife (who is presumably a woman) is the one who will tell you to sit there & continue to take abuse. Even with parents (from what I have seen), the father of the woman wants to murder her abuser in cold blood. Her mother wants her to stay, so that members of her age-grade (that she respects more than she loves her own daughter) will still associate with her. I believe there is a very special place in Hell for women who dont help other women - even mothers. If you dont want to help someone, dont stand in their way. Some of us will never experience certain things. That does not give us the right to look down on those who did. Copyright, Chioma Nnani 2014
Posted on: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 06:55:53 +0000
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