All too often, I see how so-called childcare experts say its taboo to be your childs friend. Personally I do not understand how theyd have a problem with this. I think it is possible to be your childs friend and keep a happy medium with discipline where necessary. It would be easy if kids just came out of the birth canal with a manual, but they dont. They are all different, so what works for one may be futile with another. And if the child has disabilities of any kind, that changes things too. As for being a childs friend, heres why it wont hurt. Since some parents rarely communicate with kids face to face these days, being their friend can open up these communication channels. Introduce them, as a BFF would, to things you enjoyed as a kid, or currently enjoy. (A hobby, a book or classic TV show, an unusual food.) If you are enthused, kids aim to please so will generally follow the leader! But as in any friendship, you have to find out what makes them tick too. If you can relate, or they can relate, and you can easily earn their trust when you can talk about such things and share them. That should make it easier for more difficult subjects to be discussed when they arise and if you know what they are into, it can help you know if they are into highly objectional music or video games that dont fit your moral standards. You can then use that as an opportunity to talk to them about why its inappropriate. This is where you can parent and say, OK, I love playing video games but lets enjoy this one instead. Letting them call the shots sometimes is OK too if you have no objections to things personally. You have to let them be themselves too of course. If youre not keen on a certain band due to personal taste, but you can at least tolerate it, let them listen to it in the car or wherever. Pick your battles. But set good examples of appropriate behavior, set consequences for bad behaviors, resolve issues and disputes with compromises and redirecting undesirable behaviors. The pieces should fall into place. This seems to me that as I observe my friends with kids, the better behaved kids are ones whose parents befriend them because they can find things to do together and talk about. I think this is why Collen and I rarely have disputes or discipline issues. I introd him to Star Trek and Futurama and chickens, encourage him to do Scouts, etc, and spend time with his own age group, and he introd me to Adventure Time. I let him have Halo to himself. He knows he an open up to me and I can find problems or what is bothering him. I figured this out after Chris was older and more difficult to deal with, so hes a harder nut to crack and were not as close, but hes easier for me to deal with than he used to be. For the first time, I feel there is hope for him yet. I learned that childcare experts dont know everything!
Posted on: Sat, 12 Apr 2014 05:42:45 +0000
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