As I Continue further I ask God to give me the strength to continue in this journey which is not easy but God chose me to write it and be bold in the spirit. Many people including my Mom tells me Oh Rebecca why have you started all the stuff again about your past it happens with everyone, I only have one answer, till I am on this earth I will never forget my past and keep talking about it so people get encouraged to serve Jesus and save their own life, and till I am alive on this earth I will glorify his name and my past makes me glorify him more. Why do you get so upset when I talk about Jesus or when I talk about our living God? Can’t you see the big difference in me which you cannot get in these from all the places and astrologers we went to in fact God proved them all wrong, They said that I will have a bad life I will never have children and my life will be of an insect, but see mom today I am a on a position created by God himself. Can’t you see it or you don’t want to see it, maybe you don’t want to face the truth about God. know I am going to heaven, are you sure where you are going? Remember My bible in psalm 34 verse 19 says “ A righteous man may have many troubles but the Lord delivers him from them all” I was hated then when I always spoke the truth and showed people there realities but I am loved today for the same thing, difference is that today I have God with me. Today I continue my journey forward with his grace, and don’t mind me I will repeat my past again and again not to show my strength but to Glorify him. I left last when I was stranded and reached a place where I met a stranger where in I had to spend that night in fear of getting raped. The next morning I got up and was not able to go and collect my bag. The boy who was the owner of the place was Aman, now he had a clear picture that I am not a bad girl but only a victim of circumstances, and I am sure after the slap I gave him he had respect for me. He offered me to be his roommate and I agreed to it, I never had anywhere to go and no place to live as well. The upper week I had to start working, I used to work at nights and used to sleep in the morning. In the mean while my mo came and tried to settle me down there, she thought that I was living with a brother and sister in the same flat, and I wanted it to remain it like that. The work was good and I was good in it as well, after a few days my Mom called me up and told me that there was a Singing competition called V- Pops tars and I went for it, it was aired on channel V and it made me famous but at the en as usual something happened and I did not win it. I was broken but I was used to the trend in my life to reach the top and fall down. One day me and my colleagues planned to go for a night party, and I was always in for discos and clubs so I agreed, few boys and few girls were there in the party, as I was dancing a boy in our company tried to come close and was forcing me to come close, I tried to run and when I was running I came across a Belgium boy and I started dancing with him, and when the other boy who was after me saw me with him he became very annoyed and tried to follow me, that night just to save myself I went straight to The Belgium guys house whose name was Thomas. He was sweet and very kind to me and before that I had never met a man like him, I started dating him and thought about marrying him, I even left the house with Aman and came to live close to his house so I can see him freely. One day when I was visiting Aman again I got a call and to my surprise it was Sam the man my mom planned me to get married to who broke the engagement because he lost lot of money and he was unstable. He again tried to come close to me and asked me to marry him. At that time I was so tired of leading a life of unsurity that I was not able to decide what to do. At one hand there was someone who wanted me to marry him and on the other hand a man who whom I liked but was not proposing but I knew he liked me a lot. After a lot of stupid thinking I took a decision of marrying sam thinking at least he is sure. People around me convinced me to marry sam, so I said yes. Me and my parents decided that I should travel with them to Mumbai to my cousins marriage and then and while coming back they will get us married in a temple and later in front of everyone. Finally that day came when I and my parents reached Delhi and I was convinced to marry sam in a temple and we did it, I still that time did not know what was happening and as blank I was just doing it and may be my parents did it because they never wanted another headache of me calling them every day. After marriage I was still in Delhi and he was in Gujarat, after a few months with pomp and show we got married again. After which my major disaster started. I went into an unknown city without knowing that the land I am entering is cursed and will not be able to give me happiness. First few days were good and I was a young girl married to a huge man 10 years elder to me, his house was simple mom was always very silent, it was awkward but I had to adjust in what I got into. I was taken to parties and meet all the cream crown of so called Ahmedabad, where I only saw jealousness for me and hatred for an outsider. It was weird to see people who were married before are no fiends married to someone else but sitting and enjoying at the same place. It was confusing and ultra modern for me. They were so fake and I felt that they made fun of me; I don’t what was there in me that annoyed them so much. Sam was very inclined towards friends and took friends. I planned to join work so I went for an interview and a call center there took me. It was the first day of my work and when I got my first check I came home and told sam that I have to keep this in my bank, and we had a small argument. Out of nowhere he slapped me and I fell on the floor and I don’t know what happened he kept beating even after I begged in front of him. He even pushed his mom behind when she came to rescue me….it is very easy to read but for a huge man like him to beat a timid girl like me, I was so helpless, I kept calling for help but none helped, I was bruised from top to bottom. I couldn’t call police as I did not know about it and it was strange land and I did not know that cops come for help, and to top it all he was a resourceful man. I was now like a bird in a cage. To my surprise after few hours when I was lying on the bed helpless he came to me and was apologetic, said sorry lot of times and I forgave him and took a promise from him that he will not beat me. Few days passed by and I started making friends in the call center as well, I was a floor leader there and was doing very well. Sam took me to his relatives, his mom side was a royal family, The elder brother r took the palace and he had a son who was a gay and daughter was married to a top businessman in Mumbai. I had never met such artificial people in my life but still they were sweet to me. Their son lived in his own fake world that he is a prince of the hutheesing family which at one time was a royal family. Then there was another brother of my Sam’s mom known as shaum, he had a big school, and was under debt, was a Casanova, in fact had bad eyes on me as well. What I saw there was pure evil and now I realize it, when I was with them I never realized it but now when I can see the truth I understand what I saw was pure evil. I tried to cope with it, Sam was a nice boy but he had a major problem of Ego and Anger.Mylove for him started going down after continuous beatings, I could not get the first priority in his life, his friends were always more important the one day I remember I also got beating because I said something about his servant who was with him for a long time, in fact he used to beat her as well. I called my Mom and Dad and I got an answer from them that it happens, you will need to deal with it, this made Sam more stranger thinking oh what kind of parents they are that they can’t take a stand for her. I called my sister who was settled well I her life with kids, she said it must be you who must have done something, and when sam put wrong allegations on me that I was having affairs she believed it. So finally I knew that there is no one for me because I am in this situation. One day things just went over board when he beat me so hard that I was pushed out of the house with no money. I called a friend for help and she took me to Sam’s brother house the one who was a Casanova and was mad for woman, I did not have the slightest idea that he wanted me. I was abused badly, mentally was unstable Sam tried to apologize 1000 times even cried but this time I did not agree thinking that may be his brother will help me, That night he planned to sleep with me and I had no choice as I had nowhere to go, I was abused everyday and I even got infection in which I couldn’t walk. I could neither cry nor laugh, I was like a stone anyone could come and slap me or so anything with me. I managed somehow to leave his house and live in a separate place, I was vulnerable and almost very of Sam’s friend tried to come close to me. I had no choice that time than to make friends with sam so maybe I can give him a chance but live separately, he also tried hi best to come close to me, as per him he loved me too much but anger was a big issue for him. My life went on and I lived separately, people talked about me gossiped about me but I did not care some of them also called me crazy and characterless but I don’t blame them they were never in my place to face what I faced and people have a habit of judging without knowing it is God who judges, in this whole time I did not know that God has a plan for me and that he will judge me correct. When I look back In my past I only think about what the bible says in 1 peter chapter 4 4 “Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because whoever suffers in the body is done with sin. 2 As a result, they do not live the rest of their earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. 3 For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. 4 They are surprised that you do not join them in their reckless, wild living, and they heap abuse on you. 5 But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. 6 For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to human standards in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.” So I end this chapter for today to write again next time, May God touch people’s life and show them the way to salvation.
Posted on: Tue, 02 Jul 2013 20:27:22 +0000
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