As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I dont really give a rats hiney. Its the tortoise life for me! And here is why. 1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat. 3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. 4. A tortoise doesnt run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years. And you tell me to exercise?? I dont think so. Im retired. Go around me. God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that Im older and wiser, heres what Ive discovered: 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran. 3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I dont remember being absent-minded. 5. Funny, I dont remember being absent-minded. 6. If all is not lost, where is it? 7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. 8. Some days, youre the dog; some days youre the hydrant. 9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few. 10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 12. Its hard to make a comeback when you havent been anywhere. 13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when youre in the bathroom. 14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, hed have put them on my knees. 15. When Im finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess? 16. It’s not hard to meet expenses . . . theyre everywhere. 17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what Im here after. 19. Funny, I dont remember being absent-minded. 20. DID I SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE..........??????
Posted on: Fri, 11 Jul 2014 12:44:56 +0000
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