Christmas Eve Rambling When asked how my mom is doing (diagnosed with leukemia this year) and I tell people she is doing well and go through the details, challenges and current status, I often hear the response thats good, God is good, or something to that effect. I know people are concerned and many have prayed for her. I know she appreciates it. However, Ive done a lot of pondering this past year. Would God be good if she wasnt doing well? Would the response be the same? Or would it go something like well we will continue to pray that she be healed? I spent time with a possible new hospice pt. today. I would say theres a good chance he wont survive the weekend. Family was there as they tried to decide how to spend these last few precious moments together. Tough decisions to be made. I wonder, is God good to them right now? I have sat through countless prayer services and heard the prayers for healing of cancer and other diseases, as people go on and on and suffer. Are the prayers to prove to ourselves that God is good as we hope to witness miracles? Is God good when a hundred children are slaughtered by terrorists is their school? Is God good when a woman leaves her husband to be with someone else? Is God good when a man abuses his children? Is God good when a person spends years in a prison camp, tortured and beaten day after day? Is God good when He watches His Son hang on a cross to die, innocently, causing him to cry out why have you forsaken me? Or is God only good when he is handing out answers to our every whim. Do we have faith in God to trust that he is good even when he deserts us? When we cant feel His presence, when we dont hear His voice? Do we trust Him? I wish our prayers were different. I wish I could go to church and hear the norm be something like Lord, through this hard and difficult time, may hearts be changed to love one another as you have loved us...or... Lord may these trials cause us to turn more fully to you and away from the world that we can be more prepared for your kingdom. Instead of just a long list of demands. The true saint has come to understand that God is Holy. And sometimes this doesnt equate to our idea of good. I love my mom more than I could ever describe. But I have not felt once to pray this year for God to heal her. I have prayed that she might have peace. That dad would have strength to care for her. That their relationship would be strengthened through this time that they might both be more prepared for The kingdom, that the family might be drawn closer together. But never that she be healed. I hope we have much more time together. But more importantly I hope that no matter what tomorrow brings, I will love Him with all my heart and place my trust firmly in Him.....whether I feel at the moment He is good or not. I want to understand His Holiness.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 00:47:23 +0000