Confession....... Sunday, I was presented with an opportunity that would be financially easy for me and the girls, but it would almost totally pull me away from my passion of using my gift of therapeutic massage to help others. For those of you that truly know me, you know that nothing moves my soul or excites me more than being able to serve others with my gift. I continue to weigh the pros and cons of this situation, realizing that it will take me out of my comfort zone of being where I want to be in my life right now. But I also realize that in order to be elevated, I have to become uncomfortable and move out of that zone in order for God to challenge me, right? I mean if God really caused me to be in my passion, as I believe He did, then He will continue to keep me there in some way, right? And who knows what kind of other opportunities can come from this one opportunity, right? So yesterday, I was really perplexed about this thing and tried not to let it get into my mind and spirit do deep, so I prayed about it and I said,.... God, please help me with this. Im so confused and want to do the right thing by both you and my girls. Im feeling kinds alone in this moment and need some clarity for my peace of mind and heart. Please help me. .....I left it alone until last night as I was saying my prayers and doing my meditations. I always write down the things that I want resolution in my life for. One of the things that I wrote down was, The ability to make a sound decision about the choices that I face in every facet of my life, and not to feel alone in the decision making process. I said my prayers and went to bed. No problem. This morning, I woke up literally singing Commons song, The Light, well the hook, that goes, There are times when you need someone, I will be by your side. There is a light that shines, special for you and me....I mean when I opened my eyes that was running through my head and then when I opened my mouth, those words came out, as if I couldnt say anything else. I felt guilty and tired to pray, but it was deep in my mind. I couldnt shake it, so I figured might as well get it out and explain to God later. The beginning part of the verses, I never knew a love, love, love, a love like this. Gotta be something for me to write this, Queen... and Its important we communicate to the fate of this union.... kept coming through. I gave the concert of my life in the shower with this song, with only bits and pieces coming to mind, but the hook kept ringing through. I usually get to work early so that I have time to myself before anyone else walks through the doors. The girls and I had laughed and joked enough this morning (for 3 Courtney Chronicles by the way) that my mind was clear enough to sit and study his word this morning and these are all the scriptures that I was able to read and meditate on: Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (NIV) Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. (NIV) Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (NIV) Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid? (NIV) Psalm 119:76 May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. (NIV) Proverbs 3:24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. (NIV) One of my faults is being loyal and committed to someone or something to the point that it can hurt or hinder me. I am better at it, much better, no way better, but I have to admit, I have been feeling guilty about considering leaving where Im at because I gave someone my word that I would work to build the massage part of the business as long as it takes and they trusted me with that. Then I toyed with the fact that I wont be doing massage on a full time basis, but only in the evening and on the weekends, and would my clients really support me in that. Then it hit me: I have really been working under my level of great calling in this profession and selling myself short with my career. I try my best to conform to peoples schedule instead of having them to conform to mine, which any other business does. As I meditated on the above scriptures, I was filled with a peace of mind. I still havent made a final decision yet, but I no longer feel guilty about even considering another option. Ive talked this thing out with God and have placed my doubts, worries and fears in His hands, because the bottom line is I have to be able to properly, effectively, and sufficiently provide for my girls and myself. Even if this is to be a time for me to take time away from massage therapy, I will embrace it with an open mind and heart, because either way, He has confirmed to me that He will be with me through it all. Namaste. *humbly bows* ..... This is MY life! You. Are. Welcomed!
Posted on: Wed, 30 Oct 2013 14:44:36 +0000