Consett Cricketers Ex Jnrs (Harkness Trophy quarter final) Super Wayne Chapman The bin outside The Arch was full of paper doylies and an empty packet of pitted dates, this didn’t help my hangover from my whiskey chaser session I had yesterday. Something else that didn’t help was the pungent smell Slug Marshall created when he farted in the changing room. He said it wouldn’t smell as he’s a vegetarian, he lied. Our former superstar Kai came to watch us, he brought a bottle of Dom Pérignon as a bribe for us to re-sign him from the wee club from the East of Stanley. We drank his bottle of bubbly and said we would think about a transfer if he behaved himself. Scotty Watson said he stopped in last night and watched a documentary about penguins, he asked the lads to huddle together like penguins to keep warm as it was a windy morning. We knew that the quality of the football would be affected; the lads from the Cricketers must be as hard as nails as they all wore short sleeved shirts. Gav Scott the referee forgot to bring a coin with him for the toss up for kick off so he played guess which hand the bird feather is in instead. We won the toss up and elected to play with the wind in the first half. This tact didn’t work as Anthony Big Brother Hutton scored for the Cricketers after 30 seconds, but we hit back and went in at half time 3.1 up with the goal of the game coming from Keeper Right Said Tweedy scoring an audacious 110 yard punt up field. Paul Pearce said Joe Gill was a good looking boy, Iain Monkley eats too many takeaways and Scott McCallum has grown a thick beard he looks like Osama Bin Laden, he will now be known as Scott Bin Lid. The second half kicked off with us playing against the wind you could get odds of 7/1 for Keeper Right Said Tweedy getting lobbed at some point in the next 45 minutes. It happened and we had our backs against the wall with the score a tight 3.2 in our favour Super Wayne Chapman took on 3 players left them all on their arses and belted the ball into the bottom corner to win the game 4.2 and a place in the semi final. Super super Wayne Chapman. I went to Stanley and ate Indian food with Slug Marshall after the game which was welcome as Peter Davison didn’t get the bacon butty’s in this morning and I was hungry. Apparently Manager Jeff had muesli for breakfast and broth for dinner so he stunk the club out. EuroTez wore a mint colour jumper and Elvis is obviously out of his huff as he wore his Arch Polo T-shirt, he’s missing next week as he’s off to Blackpool again with Ecru Elvin to take part in the Blackpool Tower Karaoke competition. I’m not there either I’m taking Ecru’s sister Cerise Elvin to Poland to eat root vegetables. Interesting fact of the day – Scotty Watson has played 5 games this season scored 14 goals and received 3 yellow and 1 red card. Some of the above are true made up stories.
Posted on: Sun, 19 Oct 2014 17:16:33 +0000
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