Day 7... D-day! Or is it? Weather (and the unavailability of a slot in Leeds) means that Im on standby before my big performance. To be honest, Ill be glad of the extra training time, for last night I witnessed a feat by a fellow contestant that left me doubting my ability to win this. In an effort that could only be described as Herculean I was rooted to the spot as he sat up in bed, threw his legs out and set off for home, pyjamas at his ankles and very much tackle out. He set off at a fair pace too and so impressed was I at his turn of speed that I overlooked the catheter tube firmly attached and protruding from his sprinkler and which was just as firmly attached to the bed via the bag. I have to say I was powerless to act, not only because I was sipping a fine americano at the time, but also because the human mind loves disaster, especially as it unfolds before you. Thankfully the staff here had put a bit of slack in the system, (for there was none in the contestant - obviously a southerner) and this allowed me shout a warning before he tore something. No thats bollocks. I watched with glee and watering eyes as this veteran of Normandy got to the end of the tube and with no pause basically tractor pulled a motorised hospital bed towards the door with his manhood, even throwing me a casual wave and a bye! as he surged past. It is people like these that made us great and I salute him and his organ. The competition is heating up.. More later peeps! Stay classy!
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 08:00:05 +0000
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