Dear Sir, I’m in my mid 50s and have been married for 22 years. Despite the challenges I have had in my marriage, I decided to put up with it because divorce is something I hate with a passion. In our years together, I have never enjoyed the respect, support and appreciation of my wife and her parents. My father in-law treats my home as an extension of his home, giving orders and insisting they must be carried out at his own convenience irrespective of how busy one is. My mother in law on the other hand comes and goes as she likes. Sometimes, she would call on me to come and drive her to a party. Because I run my business, I keep tolerating this infringement on my time. The funny thing is that I am comfortable and have never taken anything from them. But my offence is in marrying their first and only daughter. My wife on the other hand, at the slightest excuse, packs her things and goes back to her parents’ who on the other hand never bother to ask me what the problem between us is. They not only welcome her back home but take side with whatever story she tells them about me or whatever happened transpired. My mother who is a victim of my father’s polygamy nature has severally had to beg me to keep accommodating my wife’s excesses because of the children. Actually, my mother’s experiences taught me the virtue of patience. I’m the only child left of the four children my mother gave birth to. Her mate killed all my siblings. I just escaped by divine intervention. Because of this, I vowed against divorce and anything that would make me have a broken home. But the one she did this last time has really broken the camel’s back. Unlike in the past when I would rush to apologise and endure the insults of her parents, I have made up my mind not to go begging her this time. Before l left for work three weeks ago, she demanded I give her N200,000.00 to buy aso-ebi for a party her mother was organizing. Since I had just paid school fees, I pleaded with her that I don’t have such an amount of money and that she should give me time. That was all. By the time I got home, she had left. Her parents as usual called to insult me. This time, I didn’t bother to go. The worst thing is that she came back and took our last child who is 11. She also sent a text that I should bother to come for her. I didn’t mind so much. But the treatment her parents gave me at the party is the reason I’m writing to you. Right in the presence of other guests, her mother and father walked me out with my friends. The mother said, since I couldn’t pay for the aso-ebi for her daughter, what was I doing at the party. The painful thing is that my wife was there, witnessed everything and didn’t say anything. Instead she was laughing at my disgrace with some of her friends. I’m fed up. What do you think? Even my mother is asking me to let go of her. The real issue for me is how to recover my son with her. My eldest daughters are in the university and have vowed never to have anything to do with their mother or her parents. As a matter of fact, my eldest daughter has for long urged me to allow her mother go and stop holding on to a marriage that is practically none existent. I don’t want my son with her. I know she is purposely holding on to my son for selfish reasons. She doesn’t have time for any child. Already my son is complaining that he wants to come back home; that he doesn’t want to stay with her or the grandparents. What do I do? How do I get my child back? Dayo.
Posted on: Tue, 17 Jun 2014 14:33:49 +0000
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