Enlightenment is the end of all problems. But if you cling to enlightenment, then you create a problem. Experience it and drop it. Dont carry it. You have experienced it, you have become it; now there is no need even to think about it. Do you think in my silent nights and days I have ever thought that Im enlightened? I dont remember, even for a single moment. It is just like you are a man -- do you remember in twenty-four hours sometimes that you are a man and not a lion or a parrot or a rat? Neither do parrots think about it. Once you are enlightened, what does it mean to be enlightened? It simply means all problems are dissolved. But you can make a problem. Man has the capacity to make a problem where there is no problem at all. It is just old habit -- you can start thinking, is this true enlightenment or not? Is this lukewarm enlightenment or a hot potato? Even if you want to become a lukewarm bodhisattva you cannot -- you are a hot potato. You may not know it but everybody else knows it -- that this Anando is a hot-potato buddha. Satisfied? Now everybody will taste you. And just feel whether she is really a hot potato! Dont take my word, experience it. There is an even bigger hot potato, Avirbhava. She is taking a suntan somewhere in Singapore just to become more hot. Within two or three days you will hear her. She is bringing a whole load of old gods... forty she has already collected. Anando is her associate director. You can call the museum the Museum of Gods, or you can call it the Museum of the Hot Potatoes -- they are synonymous. Olga Kowalski gets out of bed and goes into the bathroom. She has forgotten her husbands warning about sitting on the newly-painted toilet seat. She sits down and makes herself comfortable. But half an hour later, when Olga tries to get up, she is stuck to the seat. Kowalski comes home late and finds Olga freaking out in the bathroom. He manages to unscrew the seat from the toilet and then phones for the fire department. While the fire truck is on its way, Kowalski helps Olga into the bed, and then covers her ass with his ten-gallon cowboy hat. Just then, Fire Chief Muldoon and his crew burst into the bedroom carrying hoses. Muldoon drops his axe and goes over to examine the situation carefully. After a few moments he pulls Kowalski aside and whispers to him, We can save your wife, but Im afraid the cowboy has had it! Big Leroy is coming home from work one day, when he stops in the fish market and buys himself an eel for his dinner. He slips it into his coat pocket and goes into the Crazy Crocodile Pub for a drink. Some hours and drinks later, Leroy reels out of the pub and stumbles home. When he gets there, he wobbles into the bathroom to relieve himself. Swaying backwards and forwards, Leroy fumbles in his pants and pulls out what he thinks is his prick. He feels a warm trickle running down his leg, and looks down with wide-eyed disbelief. I knew you was big, mutters Leroy, and I knew you was black. But I sure did not know you had such beautiful blue eyes! Bernie Bush, the ace political reporter for the American Righteous News, is having a day off with his family at the zoo. They are walking by the lions cage, when Bernie notices a young boy reaching his hands through the bars to pet one of the lions. Another huge lion suddenly leaps forward with a tremendous roar, but at the last second, the boy is swept to safety by a man in the crowd. Spotting a sensational story, Bernie approaches the man and says, Excuse me, sir, but that was an incredible display of instant courage. I want to write a story about you for my newspaper. Tell me, where do you get such courage? Simple, Swami Deva Coconut said, Im a disciple of Osho Rajneesh. What? shouts the right-wing reporter, turning and walking away, This will make a real story for sure! The following day, the headline of the American Righteous News reads: Rajneesh Disciple Snatches Lunch From Hungry African Immigrant! O S H O THE ORIGINAL MAN
Posted on: Fri, 29 Nov 2013 06:05:51 +0000