Every Muslim must read... TOPIC: ISLAM AND COURTSHIP DISCUSSANT: ABU MARYAM HAKEEM ADELAMI Bismillahi Ar rahmani Ar raheem, alhamdulillahi robbil alameen, as salatu wa salam ala rasulullahi. Allah has made marriage recommended for the male and females of the ummah THE WISDOMS OF MARRIAGE 1. The fulfillment of physical desires that is from the very nature of men and women, this physical desire is natural, and fulfillment of it is seen as a deep need by the shariah 2. Marriage preserves the need to preserve mankind 3. It fulfills the needs of the human beings for comfort and mercy with each other. 4. It fulfills the desire of the ummah to increase in numbers. this is the direct goal of the Shariah. 5. It permits the true roles and responsibilities of the man and woman to be recognised. 6. It ensures that each generation has the chance for total upbringing from a mother and father. CHOOSING THE RIGHT SPOUSE The prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam said choose carefully for your progeny and marry the suitable and give in marrauge to them (ibn majah ) CHOOSING THE RIGHT BRIDE Hadith Al-Bukhari - Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser. The shariah advises a man to search for 1. The woman who preserves higher level of religion 2. The woman is who is righteous and will help her husband in attaining and maintaining righteousness 3. For her beauty. it must not be understood from the above hadith that it is not correct to search for beauty during marriage. Ibn Hajar rahimahullah said we understand from this hadith a recommendation to marry beautiful women except in the case where there is a beautiful irreligious woman vs a less beautiful but religious woman. Indeed if they are similar in beauty, then the more beautiful one is more worthy of marriage (fathul bari 9/134) Imam Ahmed rahimahullah said “if a man seeks to get married, then he should ask about her beauty first , if she were beautiful then he should ask about her religion. if she were praised in her religion then he can proceed to marrying her. if she were not praised for her practice of religion then he would have rejected her based upon her religion. He should not ask about her religion first and then her beauty because he would then reject her based on her religion not her beauty. 4. To marry the virgin- this is because a virgin is more attached to her husband, easier to please with less, kinder in her approach and purer for her husband it may however be better to marry a non virgin in some circumstances a. If she is more religious. b. If one is in need of an older woman, such as for help with children. c If the woman has no one to look after her 5. Marry the fertile ones. 6. Marry a woman with a good lineage. 7. marry a woman who is sensible, good with children and careful with wealth, for the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam said “The best women who ride the camels are the pious women of the Quraish; they treat with affection children in their childhood and keep a strict watch on the wealth of their spouses” CHOOSING A GROOM the basic guidance in the shariah is for a man to choose a bride but a woman is also permitted to choose a groom. it is the responsibility of the woman to choose a man who is knowledgeable, religious, well mannered, generous, easy and soft hearted and not to propose to a sinful transgressor.(Raad Al Muhtaar ala Durar Al Mukhtaar of ibn Abideen} THE PROPOSAL Proposal is khitbah in arabic and is the process of a man seeking a woman in marriage. it is recommended to get good recommendations about the one one wants to marry and to pray istikhara the proposal cannot be made to 1. A mahram ie sister, daughter, sister from suckling 2. Temporarily forbidden- another persons wife 3. A woman in her waiting period from her 1st or second talaq 4. A woman in the waiting period of her 3rd divorce (stronger opinion) 5. A woman who already has been proposed.
Posted on: Sat, 07 Sep 2013 03:07:38 +0000
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