FACEBOOK PASSPORT My very first passport ever arrived in the mail today. Phew! When Id applied for it, at the main library here in Cincinnati, the librarians werent certain that the photo Id had taken at Walgreens would be approved by the government. This MIGHT be rejected, a female librarian said after studying it carefully. I asked hopefully, Because it makes me look older than I am? I never realized I have TWO sets of bags beneath my eyes. The male librarian said, No. Its because your head is a little small for the specs. Then he cruelly added, Its actually a LOVELY photo of you. The female librarian gave him a WHEN WILL YOU EVER LEARN HOW TO TALK TO VAIN OLD WOMEN? glance and said to me, At least the photo is clear. Lets send it in and if theres a problem, theyll contact you. So raise your right hand and say the oath after me. An oath! Id had no idea there was an oath! I raised my right hand and noticed it was trembling as if I were the killer on an old episode of The Perry Mason Show about to break down on the witness stand after solemnly swearing to tell the truth and only the truth and shout out Yes! I killed him! I did! I told the photographer at Walgreens not to shoot my photo from below under fluorescent lights in the dairy department! And Im about to kill the male librarian next unless he admits this is a VERY ugly picture of me and that I dont REALLY have two sets of bags beneath my eyes! But then as I spoke the oath, I found myself very moved and thought of all the people at Ellis Island coming to America. All our ancestors showing up here for the first time, not knowing the language, standing there by the Statue of Liberty. It felt to me that I was becoming a citizen of the U.S. for the first time by applying for a document that would allow me to leave my country and safely return here. And as I repeated each word, I thought how grateful I was to everyone here on FB who has posted photographs of their travels to amazing places and made me long to see new worlds, new people before I die. Your pictures have inspired me. So thanks, FaceBook, for my first passport...But couldnt you have convinced the guy at Walgreens to light the photo with a soft, pink, incandescent bulb?
Posted on: Fri, 26 Sep 2014 21:05:05 +0000