Fan Q: Bashing = Ban Can I ask for a bit of advice? My ex and the biological father of my 5 year old daughter is absolutely nuts to put it lightly. I have stood by his side even after the break-up when he tried committing suicide, have dealt with his hurtful words more times than someone should and all because we have a child together. He is a very selfish person and puts himself above everyone else. He only sees our daughter when he is dating a girl who wants to come around. Until June I had never once told him that he cant see her because I will not let my feelings about him impact my daughters. When he would disappear for months at a time with not so much as a phone call to her I would make excuses for him. I tell her everyday that her Daddy loves her. I do believe he loves her, He just needs to fix himself. Here is the situation. He has spent YEAR crying parental alienation so that he could play the victim which is absolutely NOT the case. I have begged him to see our daughter because I hate watching her cry because he isnt around. In June I finally put my foot down on the situation, I never wanted it to come to it but I needed to do something. I gave him the option to either be there or not. Told him that if he wanted to be in her life, and this is the choice I hoped he would make that he needs to actually be there, call her at least twice a week, and see her at least twice a month. If he didnt than I would agree to let him sign away rights and child support responsibilities. After giving him these choices he absolutely REFUSED to agree to calling her and seeing her because twice a month visitation and twice a week phone calls were too much to ask for. He finally agreed to this in Dec. only because Christmas was coming and he wanted to take her on Christmas Day like he has every year. Well its been a month now and the patterns are starting back up. Missing phone calls (when he misses, we call him), canceling or being late for visits then leaving them early. What can I do? I am absolutely NOT ok with my daughter losing her Dad in her life. She has me, her mother and an amazing step dad, but she deserves her bio dad as well! Can anyone who has dealt with a narcissistic co-parent tell me how to handle this situation in a way that wont make him just run off again? I feel like I have to walk on egg shells with him or he freaks out, tells everyone I am crazy, Im refusing contact, I am doing this that and the other thing while Im left with no clue what to even do. I just want my daughter to be able to have ALL of her parents in her life.
Posted on: Mon, 27 Jan 2014 00:12:19 +0000
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