Finally got to hold my little girl again! I actually went yesterday and held her, then again today. I love how right it feels to have her close. Today I fell asleep with her in my arms, and the nurse said she couldnt bring herself to wake us because we both looked so peaceful. I brought the blanket that Sherry Paul knitted for me. She found yarn that makes the blanket look like pink camo, which she said was perfect for our little fighter. :) I snuggled her with it today and brought it home so that, as Sherry said, I can have a reminder of my baby at home to snuggle. Shes still doing really well. She is off of her IV nutrition and is being sustained with breast milk Ive pumped in addition to some slight fortification. I had to go back on my EM medications today, which makes me sad because it probably means my ability to pump and eventually nurse is probably coming to an end. :( The pain was simply getting too out of control, and I need to avoid a full-fledged flare because then Im completely useless to my husband and kids. It breaks my heart to think of not nursing her, but if I dont get the pain under control, I wont be able to even be there to hold her or bond with her. She has been experiencing more frequent bouts of desats and bradycardia, which the nurses and doctors say is still completely normal. No matter how normal it is, it still scares me to watch her heart rate plummet, and her oxygen saturation level drop, and to hear the alarms start going off. Please continue to pray that she will be able to breathe well, grow well, and tolerate her feeds.
Posted on: Thu, 22 Jan 2015 02:36:58 +0000
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