Flight risk by Patricia A. Smith Long ago in a faraway land there was a time when going to the airport and getting on a plane was exciting and fun. People would dress up (in real clothes no less!) and be able to stretch their legs on jets that offered almost enough room for each passenger to do yoga at a time when nobody was doing anything of the sort. There were paper menus from which meals were selected and they were served with real silverware. Those days officially ended before the fall of Soviet Union. As we all know, flying today is like a short-term prison sentence. It often takes more time to get through security than it does to reach your destination. When you finally do, you’re probably exhausted from the constant pulling of your seat and the lack of room, food or water. And that’s before the plane gets put into the penalty box and sits on the tarmac for unknown reasons for several hours. After racking up numerous miles over the past several weeks and undergoing not one, but two bouts of something that doesn’t really have a name, I’m thoroughly convinced that air travel is the vehicle (ha!) for these ailments. Think about it. Every single time you set foot on a plane, sit down on that seat and touch anything on that jet, that flying petri dish is just begging you to add to the germ pool. And every single time you do, you are sleeping with the enemy without any foreplay whatsoever. Between the lack of common courtesy and/or hygiene, your chances of catching something worse than cooties from one of the hundreds of people who’ve traveled before you increase dramatically. Airplanes are (already) filthy places where people hack, cough, sneeze and burp (or worse) their way across the country while also eating chemically fortified “food” they purchased at a premium. Whatever they’ve got or eaten, they are spreading it from one orifice to surface. The next time you touch that tray table, open that restroom door or cram your luggage into the overhead bin, remember that those before you probably weren’t wearing a human condom and you might catch more than a flight when you travel. Flight risk, indeed.
Posted on: Thu, 05 Jun 2014 20:12:58 +0000
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