For some reason the weather while sitting in my back yard today, the warm breezes and sunlight after such a brutal winter, made me think of this song. Not from the place of the object of the song, but the inspiration, spiritual release, felt in writing the song. It was a very tough time in my life when I wrote this song. I was going through a nasty divorce, custody battle, trying to be the best father I could as a single dad 24 days a month, performing, working about 26 days a month. And trying to hold everything else together. At the time this song came along in inspiration, I was pretty much stripped down to my soul as a being of existence, down to the skeleton of my spirit, feeling totally exposed, naked in existence in the world I lived in. Realizing I was giving freely of everything I possessed as a person and spirit. But, there just was not enough for me to go around in meeting everyones needs. I guess maybe that sense people get when fighting a disease that is sucking them dry of life and no longer want to continue to fight, but just to relent to it, to feel a sense of relief, peace and positive inspiration. Which is the beauty reflected in the songs arrangement and positive lyrics. Its letting go of the overbearing weight of inner burden because you realize you have no fight left in you. Yet, expressing positive things in that moment of release. I had to make life choices out of necessity of spiritual and personal responsibility survival. Which brings you to a spiritual point of nothing left to give except inspirational positive thoughts. For your own sense of need for some place of positive energy inspiration, personal redemption. Its a heavy song to me, yet it is all positive energy coming out of me. Its more about a place in life, than a person in life. I dont think life is ultimately about where you end up in life. But, what positive difference you made in the lives of others whom you knew along the way in your life. The peace of knowing your existence on Earth did make a positive difference in the lives of others in positive life changing ways. That you lived an inspired life and in the end you are left feeling nothing but appreciation and inspiration. Its a song Ive never been able to perform live. I did try to perform it one night in Colonial Heights, years ago. When a couple came in to where I was singing and told me they had heard this song and got in their car and drove all the way from Washington, DC just to hear me play this song live. I couldnt get through the song live. But, I think they understood. To perform this song live would just leave me feeling standing in front of the whole world totally naked, exposed to a point, that you have nothing of your own, within yourself left that the world cant see. Ive always been willing to sacrifice all I possess to try and serve positive purpose in the lives of others, without limit. Ive never seen my as about me, but what positive purpose I can serve or inspire in others. Even if others do not recognize this as your purpose or intent. But, we all need a little place inside our souls, that we know is all ours and ours alone. I may try to work the song back up and see how it feels, now that so much time and life have gone by. But, todays weather and warm breezes I do find carrying a sense of positive inspiration. Which I guess is what reminded me of this song. :) youtu.be/-T5jq47jAjo
Posted on: Wed, 23 Apr 2014 19:23:34 +0000
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