Gaylor Palmer Rehfeldt writes: My grandchildren have pinkeye. Is there any way to put eyedrops in a child without starting WWIII? Dear Im not a Pediatric Opthalmologist, I only play one on t.v., Ahhh....good ol pink eye. Nothing says fun like kids waking up at 5 a.m. screaming that they cant see or open their eyes. With any luck this will also only happen on a Sunday when you get to pay awesome Emergency room not Walk-In fees and because we live in a society where people sue drs for every little thing, the dr can no longer do the common sense thing and give you a script for all your family which means the rest of you will be at the dr in the next few days. And with any luck you have a $7,000.00 deductible. Oh, Im sorry....you wanted to go on a vacation instead of spending $800.00 on pink eye. So sorry. Im gonna be honest here. I would rather give a mountain lion a bath then put eye drops in kids eyes. There are several things that make kids loose their sh*t. High on that list are eyedrops. Like top three worst things you will ever have to do high on the list. Kids turn into pyscho maniacs the second they see that eye dropper coming. They will also have the ability to fold themselves into human origami that would impress the best of cirque du soleil. Theres not a chance in hell your getting those drops in without a solid plan. So heres several to choose from. #1. Go Cattle Rancher Grandma on their little conjunctivitis spreading selves. Now...I will fully admit this is a technique I have used myself for eye drops. And in some cases nail trimming which is #5 on worst things to have to do to a child (in their mind.) Cattle Rancher Grandma will require a back-up ranch hand (maybe Grandpa is handy?) Heres what you do. Keep the drops in your pants pocket at all times. This way the kids dont hear or see you grabbing them out of the medicine cabinet. When the kids are least expecting it you grab them from behind and take them down. Much like roping steer. You need to have the child in a spooning position as if the two of you were snuggling. Now, wrap your legs around the childs torso and legs. If you are super flexible and the child is small enough you can actually wrap one leg around the torso and childs legs and one leg around the childs arms. Now, place the childs head on your chest with childs face close you yours. This requires a head lock type of restraint. At this point child will be fully immobile much like a calf thats been lassoed. Have farm hand Grandpa place the drops quickly and release child. This will leave the child a little gun shy for a few days, but thatll wear off. When drops are finished make sure child sees you throw them away so they dont take off running every time you or Grandpa try to hug them. #2. Just have one of your friends that the grandchildren dont know well pretend she is a nurse. Ive also done this. I was at a childs birthday party and a girl hurt her foot. The dad hosting the party wasnt sure what to do as she wasnt really hurt, just being dramatic. So, I walked over and said let me see...Im a nurse. Not so much. I looked at the childs foot, moved it a few times, pressed down on it....all that sorta good stuff.....then said looks just fine. And off she went. Im sure you have a nice neighbor that would be happy to play nurse for your grandkids. Kids will do all sorts of nice things for other people. Have the lady give them a dum dum sucker to make it official. Trust me. Kids will do anything for a mystery flavor dum dum sucker. Is it pineapple? Is it grape? I dont know...but with each lick your getting a drop of medicine into your little eyes. #3. Dollar Store bribe. Kids are insane for the dollar store. Tell them if they dont act like lunatics when you are doing the drops you will give them each $3 for the Dollar Store. The Dollar Store is to kids what Hobby Lobby is to Moms. #4. Sneak in their room when they are sleeping and pry their little eyelids open. If they sleep thru this you are golden. If not, good luck getting them back to sleep. This is a risky one. I wish you the best of luck. No butterfly kissing for the next week and Im sure you are enjoying washing all your pillows, blankets, hats, stuffed animals and bedding. And dont forget to Clorox everything theyve touched. Because thats easy.
Posted on: Thu, 08 Jan 2015 02:10:29 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015