God has really broken me to my knees tonight. I am physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted and drained, and all I think is, Why didnt I just take the two months they gave me instead of trying to prolong it with these horrible surgeries? I know I will feel different in the morning when my son comes to hug me, but at this moment in time, it feels like it would be so much easier to just give up. I have always expressed myself through writing, but I think I need to find a better forum for doing so than Facebook. I am going to bring everyone down in my bad moments and up in the good. I dont want all my friends to have to go on this dumb roller coaster ride with me.I will say the encouragement from friends always makes me feel better, though. Anyway, the sun will be rising soon and then my brother will be coming to help. My brother is great. He would have happily and willing drove down tonight, as would some friends if I had called. But I was trying to tough it out alone for at least one night and it didnt work out for me. I just kept telling myself he would be here in the morning, though, if I could just make it through the night.
Posted on: Wed, 16 Jul 2014 09:36:27 +0000
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