Got bored job hunting today and sent this resume out to some craigslist posts I was totally under qualified for... Mortok the Devourer 666 The Gates of Hell The Underworld mortokkill@gmail Education Weaving 800 Hunter/Gatherer 801 Employment Viking God of War 815-Present Position: Demigod Duties included: Standing epically on mountain tops with wind blowing my hair, holding a flaming sword to a stormy sky on a mountain top, battle cries, having virgins in animal loin cloths laying at my feet. Revolutionary 810-815 Position: Savage Duties included: Beginning the uprising, rioting, looting, pillaging and occasional village burning. Slave Ship Yacht Club 805-810 Position: Slave Duties included: Getting whipped, rowing, scheming vengeance, typing letters and other required documentation. Skills • Personable • Looting • Pillaging • Simply Accounting • Battle Cries • Shanking • Human branding Interests Piano, basketball, biking, swimming, killing and art. References I have no references as how I leave no soul to witness the fury of my aftermath.
Posted on: Fri, 02 Aug 2013 07:55:05 +0000
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