Happiness, is a warm, yes it is.... bang bang, shoot shoot. I know that no one is perferct, yet I have the hardest time admitting I am wrong. I see the imperfections around me and they stand out like golfer at mass, yet when I look in the mirror I see nothing good and dont understand how I could be so wrong. Why is it so hard to see the good in our selves? I can and will search until I find the good in others and I dont give up until I do, yet at the very same time I ignore the praise of others and cast it aside, carrying a burden of guilt and wearing the mask of shame. Forgiveness begins at home and I do mean within our own hearts and for ourselves. It is the hardest to give and we can and will snatch it away in a snap second. I have forgiven others for the worst of actions, understanding their frailties and seeing beyond their weakness. I forgive and move on, yet I look in the mirror and refuse to budge. Everything begins within and without foregiveness, moving forward and finding the love we have inside becomes an impossible task. I struggle somedays to even see who is in that mirror, knowing it is someone I do not trust. Those days are fewer and farther apart as time moves on. Accepting that the number of my tomorrows has dwindled to a precious few, without promise of even one, I anchor myself to today, to this minute, this moment in time. In the here and now I can no longer look away. I see myself for what I am, today. My mistakes in the past are only a story, today. I have learned so many things from my own mistakes that I find I have no choice but to forgive myself. I understand the pain I have caused others, because I feel it myself. I forgive myself and in that forgiveness I find comfort and understanding. It opens the way to allow me to love myself once more. Forgiveness is the pathway to love. Understanding that you are not at fault makes life a little cleaner. I see my own mistakes and do my best to accept them as they come. I dont ever want to let them build into a barrier that separates me from heart again. Not one of us is perfect. Yes, I make mistakes. We all do. I can now forgive myself almost as easy as I forgive others. This too gives me hope. If I can, anyone can. If anyone can then there is hope for us all. For the world and for you. Take my hand.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Nov 2013 13:17:34 +0000
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