Hello Zane, let me just say that I love your work(I know u must get that a lot) I am writing to you because I just turned 25(the 22nd of this month)and in March of last year I just had my first baby. My childs father and I were together for 3 years before we had her and all through those 3 years we had not one arguement. So when we found out I was pregnant he was so happy and excited because this is both our first one,I believe to be a very good blessing bc I thought we could learn together and he was very supportive and loving all throughout my pregnancy.The big problem however was his Family.They were unsupportive and even though they say they are happy their actions showed different.He has had some money problems which kept us from moving into our own place but we are out now. I am currently having all kinds of trouble with my grandmom who allowed my daughter and I to stay with her until we moved just a few weeks ago.She continuously berates me and treats and talks to me like a child when I feel she should have a better understanding of what Im trying to do and accomplish for my own family.She acts like bc she is well off she nv has lived paycheck to paycheck like my bf and I do,bc I know I owed her money and rent and I made arrangements to pay her but I was not going to be stuck in her house and separated from my bf for any longer.Im hurt that she would treat me this way like my bf and I arent going to work and doing everything we can to make a better life for our daughter and we made her out of love.She always calls me disrespectful and ungrateful when she shouldnt blame anybody but herself for my selfishness bc she raised me and spoiled me rotten. Please help, Spoiled and hurt MY RESPONSE: Hmm, not enough information for me to cosign on your outlook. You say that she treats you like a child but you were grown and living with her up until a few weeks ago. It sounds like you made her some promises about paying her money and then reneged, using the reasoning that you need your money to survive with you and your man. That is fine that you want to be with him. You should be. Here is the thing: if you want both of your families to stop interjecting into your lives, both of you have to stop asking them for anything. As long as you are relying on them for finances, babysitting, a place to stay, a ride to Wawa to get a paper, anything...they will express their opinions. People rarely express opinions on an ongoing basis about things they are are not privy to, or people they are not around. Maybe the two of you need to spend some time establishing your family and home, so that they will have nothing negative to say. As for your grandmother, if she loved you enough to take you in, you need to love her enough to listen to her vent from time to time. The good part is that you no longer live with her so she can do her. You called yourself selfish. Not a good look and it has nothing to do with being spoiled. My parents spoiled me like crazy and I do not have a selfish bone in my entire body.
Posted on: Sun, 26 Jan 2014 02:22:29 +0000