Here is a letter about Jos life & death that I wrote with our sister Anita. The online wake will be on my FB page Dec. 9, 4-8 p.m. EST. Sadly, we are writing to tell you that our sister Joanne Bosky died on Saturday, November 15, at 8:12 p.m. We know that she has been part of your life also, and that you join us in mourning her. Because the only treatment for many of her health issues was severe suppression of the immune system, when she caught an everyday infection that we would not even have noticed, it entered her blood, causing systemic havoc including shutting down her kidneys. After that, we decided on only palliative care, which we knew Joanne wanted. Fortunately, both of us and our families were able to be by her bedside. The University of Michigan Hospital staff were all understanding and always willing to help; a hospital chaplain led us in prayer and a final blessing. The end was completely peaceful and gentle. We have decided not to hold an actual funeral for Joanne, in part because all of those closest to her were there at her deathbed, and many friends who would want to attend a ceremony live too far from Ann Arbor. We hope any who are disappointed by this will forgive us; another factor is how overwhelmed and burned out we feel. At some point in the next few weeks, her cremated remains will be placed in Forest Hill Cemetery in Ann Arbor. Also, we will have an online wake on Facebook from 4:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. on Tuesday, December 9th. (Youd think we were living in the 21st century!) Bernadette will start with a post, so in order to participate, be sure to friend her. Of course the comments will stay up, and you can add to them at any time, but we hope you can check in for real-time responses. Any sharing of stories and pictures would be especially appreciated. If you would like to make a memorial donation, we suggest the Aplastic Anemia and MDS International Foundation, an organization for those with blood and bone-marrow disorders like hers that Joanne found useful (aamds.org/get-involved/donate/); Marylins Voice, a rescue for abused dogs from which she got Quinn (marilynsvoice.org/); NPR, a source of radio shows that she enjoyed greatly (npr.org/stations/donate/); or Doctors without Borders, to which she often donated (https://donate.doctorswithoutborders.org/monthly.cfm). If you tried to contact Joanne and she did not reply, please know that you should not take it personally. Partly, she was exhausted much of the time, her limited energy taken up by daily life and a seemingly endless round of medical appointments and treatment. Partly, she was embarrassed by how little she was accomplishing in life, though as always she deeply underestimated herself. Ever since she got lupus during her time in graduate school, Joannes life has been so horribly unfair that her endurance and even enjoyment of it for thirty years is a tribute to her fortitude, tenacity, and good humor. When she was diagnosed in her early twenties, the doctors felt she might die by 30. When she was 30, they thought she would die before fifty. Instead, she made it to fifty-six and always lived as well as she was able to. Several years ago, she developed auto-immune aplastic anemia, at times having such a low blood count that she could not get enough oxygen to her tissues to walk across the room. Recently, she was diagnosed with liver cancer, and her other health issues disqualified her from any transplant, so a sudden but easy death was a backhanded blessing. We want you to join us in thinking of all the wonderful events and interests of Joannes life and of all the funny, touching, and brilliant memories she gave us. Im sure all of you, no matter what age you knew her at, recall her jokes, kindnesses, insights, and contributions to holidays and other celebrations. Her musical talent and facility were astounding, including drums, piano, oboe, flute, recorder, harp, ukulele, and cello. Her playing enhanced a number of groups, including a recorder group in Philadelphia and the Dexter Band in Dexter, Michigan. When her health allowed, she worked as an administrative assistant for two offices at the University of Michigan. Beyond that, Joannes reading and understanding were so broad that she was a constant source of advice to many people on many topics. Had her health been better, she could have been not only a professor of religion, but also an academic counselor, a nutritionist, a music teacher, a medical transcriptionist, or almost any kind of researcher. When Bernadette wanted to improve her eating for health, Joanne helped her plot a course of pisco-veganism; just to satisfy Bernadettes morbid curiosity, one time, Joanne presented her with a major medical search concerning the effects of rabies. If Anita or anyone in her family had a medical problem, Joanne always knew much and could find out almost anything. Our discussions of spirituality with her were both comforting and challenging. Above all, Joanne always took control of her own healthcare with both savvy and determination. Doctors who might have had expectations of talking down to a single middle-aged woman soon found out differently. On the other hand, many of her healthcare professionals, including her GP and rheumatologist, admired her self-awareness, ability to process very elaborate information, and dedication to making her own decisions. Although Joanne was never able to marry and have children, she lavished love on family and friends; and she gained companionship and fulfillment from her dogs. Her silky terrier Chloe died not long ago, at the amazingly advanced age of 17, and we like to think that Chloe was there to welcome Joanne to the next stage of existence. Joanne left behind her two dogs, an extraordinarily intelligent pug-Chihuahua mix named Nigel and a rescue pug named Quinn, both of whom Anita and her husband Bob have adopted. Quinn was physically and mentally damaged by the cruel puppy mill that bred him, and his current status as an enjoyable pet is an incredible testimony to Joannes loving, informed, and patient efforts. We are so very sad to tell you of her death, but we know you join us in being grateful to have known her in life. Bernadette Bosky 206 Valentine St Yonkers, NY 10704 blb@panix Anita Bosky 753 Fairway Park Dr. Ann Arbor, MI 48103-8966 anitabosky@aol
Posted on: Wed, 19 Nov 2014 22:06:13 +0000
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