How to Belong and to Become Belonging Loneliness isn’t the enemy. Loneliness is an alarm clock, waking us up to our deep, aching need for connection and belonging and relationships in which we are seen. The alarm is ringing, and we need to wake up and see each other. And in order to do that, we need to grossly mismanage our time. We need to start really screwing up our agendas and schedules and expectations for life. We need to get out of the plans in our own heads and get into the moment, noticing the people around us and taking the time to slow down and see them. We need to decide that taking time is sometimes more important than being on time. We need to blink ourselves awake in line at the restaurant or supermarket or post office, really seeing the person in front us as someone who climbed out of bed this morning and brushed their teeth and has a story worth telling. We need to disconnect from the seduction of high-definition displays and, instead, connect with the inner lives of the ones we love. We need to decide the work of our lives will be raising a generation that knows what it means to be seen—seen in such a way that they overflow with belonging and spill it everywhere they go. Because inevitably, when we receive the gift of belonging, we bubble over with the gift and become the gift-giver. Where we once ached to belong, we now ache to become a place of belonging in a crowded-lonely world. We become a people set ablaze with the ability and the desire to really see our spouses and children and friends and neighbors and every passing stranger. - Kelly M. Flanagan
Posted on: Wed, 31 Jul 2013 13:15:24 +0000