How to Talk to a Reluctant Teen Okay, Steven, HOW does one talk to a teen who is reluctant to talk? 1. Talk about a neutral issue. Not every conversation has to be about serious issues and things a teen has done wrong. Pick up a teen magazine and discuss an article you found inside. Ask your teen their opinion about something neutral. 2. Use time at the table. Family dinners are fantastic for conversations. Try to engage everyone. Think of a few questions for people to answer, and be cautious to not ridicule or judge opinions. 3. Ask open ended questions. Stay away from yes and no questions. Ask questions that interest your teen. Questions such as How is that new video game going? What lever are you on? How is band practice going? You can even ask questions about your teens friends such as, How is Sam doing? Look for questions that your teen can answer in a discussion format. 4. Drive time conversations. This is an excellent time to talk as long as the conversation does not interrupt your driving. Questions such as What kind of car would you want if you could have any car you wanted? I have never see a car like that one before, what kind of car was that? 5. Sometimes talking after dark is easier. Teens sometimes find it easier to talk after dark. If your teen comes home after a date, maybe invite him/her into the kitchen for ice cream or their favorite snack. Ask questions like, How was the date (say it with a smile not a frown)? How do you like her/him? Maybe just go th his/her room and ask a general, non-specific question. 6. Try commercial conversations. Watch television together and talk about short topics during the commercials. These brief talks (not having to sit face-to-face) may work well! Tools for Dealing With Conflict There are confrontations in almost every home, but made worse if you and your teen arent close. What are some ways to help the reconnection process? Do not begin the conversation confrontational. Experts say the first three minutes of a conversation usually predicate how the rest of the conversation will go. Begin with a soft voice and respect, and its likely that the confrontation will be more conducive to positive results. Let your teen know he/she has a voice! Let your teen speak first. Young people we surveyed said that if they have a chance to talk first, theyre more receptive to what their parents say. Often, you will find that when a teen gets to speak first, he/she is usually willing to listen to the other side. Dont interrupt your teens side of the conversation. Watch how you talk to your teen. Act like you wish your teen to act. If you yell your teen then thinks its okay for thim/her to do the same. Try using a quieter, calmer voice. This will require your teen to listen harder to hear what you are saying. Explain what you want and why. Some teens say they just dont understand what their parents are asking them to do. Explain WHY you have the opinion or decision that you do. Teen being sassy. Try to stay away from such confrontational statements as Do not talk to me like that! In place of that, try saying something like, Ill be happy to listen to you when you speak to me more respectfully. Perspective. Is this battle worth it? Stand up for the values that are most important to you and to your teens welfare — but consider flexibility on things that are not vital. Take a break if needed. If the conversations gets rough, simply take a break. If your conversation has failed try writing a letter. One way to express yourself without yelling or confrontation is to write your teen a letter. Don;t be critical of your teen, think your thoughts through. By writing a letter, it gives you time to sort through your thoughts and express yourself carefully. Sometimes e-mail to your teen works well!
Posted on: Sun, 11 May 2014 05:19:06 +0000