I dont really care for Dr. Phil.. I know.. shoot me now.. But here it is.. First let me just say, THIS IS NOT A KELLI BASHING post.. you are welcome to your opinions. However, know that I wont waste my time reading them, if you are bashing anyone.. I am only sharing because it needs to be shown.. This has happened far too often these past couple of years. Why?!?! Why do these parents feel they have no other choice?!?! Why arent we helping families before they get to this point?! Why arent we helping these beautiful children?!?! I posted about this quite a while ago, and I want to share with you the first part of the interview.. I followed Kellis blog, almost daily.. Used some of the tips she had with caring for her daughter for Nicholas. There is nothing that will ever justify what Kelli did.I will never condone what she did. However, I have felt the helplessness, felt that there was no hope, the feeling of being defeated, more times than not lately to be honest.. Kellis words will stick with me because they are words I have said to Andrew; I wear a bracelet that says do not resuscitate. Ive been there so many times, Ive cried to Andrew that I dont want to live like this anymore, for Nicholas to just fn kill me, I cant take this anymore.. Let me die so he can live in foster care and the state will give him the help Yes, Ive selfishly been there, Ive cried, Ive pleaded.. Nicholas has no authority, he doesnt take no. He does what he wants when he wants. Sure some days I can get him not to, after playing mind games, figuring out the puzzle to get him to think it was his idea. And some days it doesnt work, like today- where he has went back to bed because he has refused to do any schoolwork and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it without causing a meltdown and fists and feet to fly.. Its exhausting.. He can be the sweetest. bend over backwards to give you a compliment kiddo. He loves to make people happy, and loves hugs, and just wishes everyone would be happy all the time.. But something inside him has a switch and when that switch is hit.. Nicholas has left.. he is gone and an ugly person has arose.. Nicholass father cant be bothered with being a part of his life, Andrew and Nicholas dont have a relationship, they rarely even say hello to eachother. Im not close to family, nor were we ever really a close-knit family. His paternal family have nothing to do with him with the exception of his uncle Jimmy that he hasnt gotten to meet yet. Its Nicholas and I.. My mother can sit with him, but he sees her as an equal. his brother and sister the same- an equal.. I am Nicholass only care. which also means I am Nicholass punching bag unless I allow my other children to step in and take the blows, how is that right?!?! There isnt help out there for us. We are denied services because we do not receive government assistance. He has aged out of the schools for kids like him, classes for kids like him, groups, therapies. There just isnt help. If we were on government assistance we could get help, if we were wealthy, we could buy help.. But because Andrew went to college, got a degree, and has a job that provides for he and his family and we spend every extra dime we may have on alternative care for Nicholas - We can not get help.. More importantly- Nicholas can not get help.. Everyone has their opinions and their suggestions, But unless you have lived in her, my, their, shoes. You have no idea.. you just have no idea.. I cant tell you how many times I have heard, just put him in a residential care unit. Really?? if only it was that easy.. who will pay for this? Do we sell our home and move somewhere that has one for kids like Nicholas? What happens when Insurance stops paying like they did for Issy? Where were the people to help Issy?? Where are the people to help families like ours?? WHERE IS THE HELP?!?! I once called a residential facility close to here. Guess what I was told? oohh this is a sticky situation because there is always a fine line of what is covered under your insurance and what isnt.. I understand you dont qualify for government assistance but is there a way to qualify for it just for their medical? Really?!?! Sure.. I could get a divorce, or Andrew could quit his job.. WHERE IS THE HELP?!?! God Bless Issy, God bless all these beautiful children.. But God please bless their caregivers as well. Something has to change.. Something has to change.. Now I must go because after 3 hours, Nicholas has sweetly came down to me and stated he is ready to do his work.. We need more help out there.. youtu.be/CSLI7goRdrI?t=1s
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 16:44:01 +0000
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