I happened to look at the OTHERS folder in FB mail a few weeks ago, something I do very rarely. Found a very old request made by my mothers best friends daughter, to send photos and a message, since their 50th wedding anniversary was coming up. I briefly panicked, since it was so late and their date was October 10. Anyway, called mom the same evening, she wasnt feeling too well that day. So didnt get to speak with her.Next day when I told her to record a message or pull out photos, knowing that the photo albums were far away in the loft and the household help was missing. I said do it aaram se and send it to me in a weeks time. Before the week was up, the mail arrived. I was pleasantly surprised wondering how she lifted the suitcase, took out albums, searched among old photos. Then smiled, thinking how deep, simple and soft friendships are, even after 50 plus years.Even after marriages to fairly demanding husbands. The one person she went out of her way quickly for, was her friend far away in the US. Had to be, also on this special occasion. In the corner of a heart jahaan chaah hoti hain, wahan bahaane nahin raah nikal hi aati hain. It was a sweet valuable lesson for me, when in a new city this year, the only friend Id really made or I thought I d made disappeared.with no explanation. Aur bhi dhakke aayen. For sometime I went under and asli friends sab dilli mein itne doooooor aur nakli sympathy walon ko pehchanna, despite being slow at it. Kuchh waqt toh bada kharab lagaa.Part of me actually went quiet, sad and then slowly I began to see, how to be a friend to oneself. Ive lived on my own enough, still single, so solitude zindagi ka aham hissa hain.But some years ghiso a bit and I took my time with surrendering, but then it does polish you.Like Cherry Blossom shoe wipe some parts of you which had stopped growing somewhere I guess.Then I realised how extraordinarily lucky Ive been with friends all my life, that somewhere maybe Id become a bit spoilt, life was levelling out now, itll knock whatever one becomes excessively attached to until one reaches a middle space. Thought about my mom too, what all she has seen. When that little softness came out for a khaas anniversary today, I realised yeh softness aur affectionatepana nahin loose karna chahiye. Jo bhi ho. This is what makes you you. Just spoke to Ma last night. Anniversary aaj hain, but she got so excited that she called the US kal hi. I tell ya. (Shed also gotten worried kyonki bijli went during the day and she wanted to call before the phone charge died.) Milestones like a 50th wedding anniversary of a close friend of moms generation. Wah! Filhaal I must create an anniversary of my own. 25 years of being friends with you guys Seeta Tanuja Pundul next year nai? Please get your backsides here so I can rag you again. And we must go get these studio type photos clicked I say! But these useless friends of mine are almost never on FB. Chalo, cheers to that wonderful enduring quality of some bonds. Where there is space to be you and you and you. And the heart feels understood. Milein na milein, we push each other well to be better human beings. Eventually values bind you, I feel. This is mom and Aunty, after college. mummy on the left in the first photo. The middle one, I was excitedly told by mum, after wed picked up our B.Sc degrees, we all went to Alfred Park(Allahabad) to celebrate. Happy anniversary! Something about these photos is quite sweet and I clearly didnt get any of my moms shyness. Aur yeh OTHERS..
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 03:50:19 +0000
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