I have the idea that some here expect me to start a Dear Clydes page hehehehe hope you laughed , or spit out your coffee ..... The five toughest questions that women ask men: 1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat? 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What would you do if I died? What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly. Therefore, as a public service, we present the correct responses and -- more importantly -- the incorrect responses that will lead to fights. Question # 1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this is: Im sorry if Ive been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you. (Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!) Question # 2: Do you love me? The proper response is: YES! or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, Yes, dear. Inappropriate responses include: a. Oh Yeah, loads. b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes? c. That depends on what you mean by love. d. Does it matter? e. Who, me? Question # 3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: Of course not! Among the incorrect answers are: a. Compared to what? b. I wouldnt call you fat, but youre not exactly thin. c. A little extra weight looks good on you. d. Ive seen fatter. Question # 4: Do you think shes prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is always: Of course not! Incorrect responses include: a. Yes, but you have a better personality. b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner. c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age. d. Define pretty. Question# 5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question. The nightmare scenario: What would you do if I died? Would you remarry? No, I love you too much to get married to a different woman. But you love being married, dont you? So honestly, youd get remarried wouldnt you? Yeah, I guess I would remarry eventually. Would you and your new wife live in our house? I guess so. Where else would we live? Would you take down all the pictures of the two of us together? It would be very discourteous to her not to. Would you two sleep in our bedroom? I dont know; probably. Would she wear my clothes? I guess ... My jewelry? Yeah, Id think so. Would she use my golf clubs? Naaah, shes left-handed.
Posted on: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 16:28:55 +0000
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