I judged myself viciously when I went on anti-depressants years - TopicsExpress

I judged myself viciously when I went on anti-depressants years back. How could I? How dare I? How wrong! Yoga should be able to help me 100%! How I have failed! It was before I was an actual yoga teacher but I considered myself a “hardcore yogi” (yes, my words at the time) and I couldn’t possibly imagine taking medication to feel better even though I had been depressed as long as I could remember. At least since early childhood. I was also terrified of gaining weight. I had heard rumors that they made you gain weight and at the time I was battling a serious eating disorder and I would’ve rather been sad than fat. Or so I thought. I probably would’ve rather been dead than fat at the time. The phrase that swims in my head the most when I think I have gained weight, both now and in the past, is I can’t believe I’ve let myself go like this. There is such shame around those words, hovering right there between the shock and the letting go. Thanks as always to SimpleReminders. This is one of my most popular pieces on The Manifest-Stattion.

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