I just walked out of the theater after viewing 12 Years A Slave... Before the movie began, I found myself sitting there alone in the dark wanting to leave before the projector started to roll. I was fearful because, I did know... could not know if the movie would bring me to a state of catharsis or, a state of chaos. Now, that the experience is behind me, I had to take a long moment to quiet my nerves before I began to write this post. At this time of day, the theater parking lot is mostly empty and, for that, I am glad because, I do not want anyone to see my face. Also, as much as I want to, I am trying to avoid looking into my rear-view mirror because, right now, my eyes are burning and I can feel the crust and the sting of the salt tracks from my many tears. Right now, I need that burn and, I need that sting in order to stay focused. I need those things to help me remember how the visuals of that movie made me feel. The thing is that, even though the film is filled with hellish suffering and inhuman travails, I didnt shed any tears until the end credits. Then, I got up, descended the stairs, stepped out into the light, walked to my car, got in and - the dam burst. I cried and cried and my nose ran and my chest heaved and still I cried an ocean of woe. My tears werent of pain or anger but of shame. I was ashamed and, I am shamed because of every second of freedom that I have taken for granted in my lifetime and every free moment that I have wasted wishing that I had even more freedom. I am ashame because, I am spoiled. Freedom is everything and I have given away far too much of mine without a second thought. On a macrocosmic scale, many people will say that 12 Years... is designed to cause racial strife and social upheaval. However, I say that it is designed to cause shame. In two and a half hours, the entire spectrum of humanitys many shames -hate, racism, greed, lust, ignorance, etc., etc., etc...- were painted and then put on display in the museum of the pysche. And, like any work of art, every viewer will see and feel a different sound, a different image and a different nuance. So, as for this viewer, I am asking myself even as I type this, if, this piece of art brought me chaos or catharsis? And, to the furthest limit of my self-awareness, I must say that, I have reached catharsis by way of chaos. This movie hurt me but, it was well worth the pain because, it is like a good hard slap -that hurts like hell- and yet, awakens one from a nightmare. Please go see it, it will leave you slapped, tearful and stinging but, it will open your eyes.
Posted on: Fri, 08 Nov 2013 21:43:32 +0000
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