I know many of my posts have been about Griffin lately and there really is SO much more going on in our lives, but when Im really honest about it, thoughts of Griff loom over me all day. I go about life like normal, but every now and then, he creeps into my mind. I wonder if this will be the day he doesnt have a headache. I plead with God to take his headaches away. I pray that this night will be a night without a headache. It is so odd. He is fine most of the day. School would never know he has had a headache every night, the sitter has seen them starting a few times, but they overtake our evenings. He hits a point where he just lays there, crying in pain. I talked with the neurosurgeon again today, and as much as I love me some Dr. Ruge, I would prefer less contact with him. The neurologist wants see him so she is squeezing him in on Tuesday next week. I dont even know what I want her to say. I just dont like seeing Griff crying every night. I like control. I like taking care of things. I like being able to handle everything. Im a doer, and a fixer, and a get it doner. This is beyond what I can fix. Griffin is going to have hydrocephalus the rest of his life. I have to remind myself of this and that we need to take the uncertain times in stride. Gods got this too, just like everything else.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Nov 2013 02:43:53 +0000
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