I know this is long but heart touching Subject: Fw: Are we invisible The Invisible Woman It started to happen gradually. One day years ago I was walking my son to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, Who is that with you, young fella? Looking around to see if any of his friends might be watching, he mumbled, Nobody. His face turning beet red. Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son was only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, Is that what he thinks? Nobody?!? It went on from there. I would walk into a room and no one would look up. I would say something to my family - like Please clean up the mess you made in here before grandma gets here. -- and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move except to shift their head so they could see the TV around me! Just the other night my teenage son and I were out at dinner with one of his friends. Wed been there for about two hours while I sat and listened to them talking and laughing with each other -- never speaking a word to me. I was ready to leave. So when my sons friend went to the buffet (for about the fifth time), I leaned over and whispered, Im ready to go when you are. An hour later, I was handed the bill for all three of us as they walked out to the car to wait for me -- still deep in conversation -- leaving me still sitting there at the table. Im invisible. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while Im on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside Im thinking, Cant you see Im on the phone? Obviously not. No one can see if Im on the phone, or sweeping the floor, or in the bathroom, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. Im invisible. Or at least, parts of me must be. Some days they actually see my hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Can you wash this? Some days Im not even a human being. Im a clock to ask, What time is it? Im a satellite guide to answer, What number is the Disney Channel? Im a car to direct, Pick me up at 5:30 and drive me to my friends house to stay the night. Funny. I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied trigonometry and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they have disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. Going¸ going¸ gone! One weekend, after fixing my family lunch, running my son to soccer practice, dropping the dogs at the groomers, picking up laundry at the cleaners, and dropping my paycheck at the bank to try to beat the checks Id written yesterday, I met a group of my friends at a restaurant for lunch. We were celebrating the return of a friend (single with no children) from a fabulous trip to England. She was going on and on about the expensive hotel she stayed in and all the incredible places she had visited and the costly things she had purchased. I was sitting there, looking around at the others -- all dressed so nicely and looking so chic with their manicured nails and shiny pedicures. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress (it was the only thing I could find that was clean). My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when my friend turned to me, handed me a beautifully wrapped package, and said, I brought you this. It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. Beautiful as it was, I wasnt exactly sure why shed given it to me until I read her inscription inside the front cover: With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees. In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book over and over. And I would discover what would become for me, life-changing truths. No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. Only the architect gets the recognition. Yet these builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit a cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, Because God sees. After reading that story, I closed the book, feeling the missing pieces fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness youve done, no sports patch youve sewn on, no cupcake youve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you cant see right now what it will become. At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree anymore. And maybe thats true about craftsmen and buildings. But its not true about the cathedral Im building. When I really think about it, I dont want my son to tell the friend hes bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table. That would mean Id built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, maybe to have him add, Youre gonna love it here. As parents, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if were doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women, like me.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Nov 2014 23:31:13 +0000