I love it when atheists call me delusional. Im starting to take it as a compliment more so than an insult. Im surrounded by Christians every day that say God or Jesus told them to do something or say something. If God or some other deity ever starts talking to you Id say that you are suffering from schizophrenic symptoms and you probably need help. Im surrounded by delusional people who think theyre prophets or psychics or have otherworldly abilities that the rest of us cannot see. Some people claiming to see ghosts and spirits; I dont see anything. Ive always put my faith in my dreams and in synchronicity, and I am a theist and a firm believer that the higher power or order in the universe can identity its existence for those that are willing to see it, but to go any further than that is to say we know for certainty the secrets of life and death. I try to stay somewhat objective on all of it. Some of the occultist groups think theyd know the secrets, and their ancient astrological practices are just as outdated as Christian theology from my own point of view. I piddle with tarot and divination, but my instincts and my keen intuition still prove to be my greatest tools for finding answers. Who the Hell really knows? When it comes to the creation of human life, Id be more apt to say that we were made by aliens. I dont know... I like the theory of evolution, but I highly doubt we evolved from apes. WHO KNOWS? I spend a lot of time in isolation and Im a little bit out of my mind. Im not a smart guy and I do have my own long list of issues, but seeking help for those issues is a near impossibility when Im not even willing to divulge my own symptoms to an expert. I dont want to be labeled for anything other than my learning disability although I know the list could probably get a wee bit longer than that. I never wanted to end up 26 years old living in a shack in my familys back yard. I had high hopes and big dreams just like every kid does. Now all I can do is to do my best to make some kind of a difference. I was an atheist for a long time, and as the story goes, I quit going to church at 9 years old. I became an agnostic in my late teens, and other than having a couple of near death experiences with some dreams that seemed to have been psychic, I didnt know what to believe. I still dont. Edgar Cayce intrigues me to this day and Ill put a little bit of weight on my dreams. Without my dreams I wouldnt believe in anything to begin with. Without having the same dream for now 13 years, and finding the person of interest in those dreams, even though we never had the opportunity to meet, I would have stopped caring, but Ill skip all of the sappy crap that came with that experience; it made me a little wonky. If fate exists it definitely does have a sense of irony. I would have given anything to explore the experience more and seek some validity to all of it, but as it stands that will never happen, and that was the only experience Ive ever had that was truly worth exploring when it came to the metaphysical. All Ill say is that even the staunch atheist shouldnt be able to deny the possibility of legitimately and scientifically provable psychic experience, which that experience very well may have been provable. I wish people would get off of my ass; the atheist and the religious nut alike. There was only one person out there that would have proven my own theory and thats one theory that Ill have to write off completely at this point. Maybe one day Ill find some direction in my life, a job that will make me enough money to do the things that I need to do, and then maybe Ill give myself one last run at going to college and making something out of myself. Until then Im just another ignorant, uneducated dumb-shit with low self-esteem trying to make some kind of a difference in the meantime. Id like to think Im a conspiracy theorist, but considering the facts and the actions of our government, it would seem that a good majority of us are all just idiots and mindless slaves. Im NOT as delusional as some people would like to paint me out to be. Lacking direction and money, sure, but delusional and neurotic?── Okay, being an introvert and an isolationist makes me a little bit neurotic. You try being alone as much as I am... Its maddening. You know most of the great prophets in history, and some of the greatest teachers spent much time in isolation. Judge a mans intelligence by what he learned in school and youll be missing quite a bit. Im not smart, a little ignorant, but Im not an idiot either. While the atheist is denying everything, and the religious zealot thinks he knows the answers, Im still the guy willing to risk his sanity to take a journey and find out for himself. That means something to me, and its hard not to draw conclusions and settle for something absolute to ground myself again. F*ck it, Im going disc golfing.
Posted on: Sun, 29 Jun 2014 21:58:41 +0000
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