I normally never go on this account because I have one with my husband. But I felt I should share my wild ride this year going from death to my wonderful,(and more appreiciative of things) life. Since February I have seen some amazing things and experienced things that I have already went through before but it felt like the first time. I woke up to what felt like a neverending nightmare that lasted months to get out out of. Ive gained a lot of education on things I had no clue of before. I know that suicide is NOT a person being selfish. Its actually opposite. People who felt that way was not in their right mind. This happened to me. I tried so hard to come out of that coma and be excepted back into society once again and have my old life back to where I didnt have to constantly feel like today might be my last. And how I had an overwhelming fear of me letting my family down and not being that strong person I was before. I completely lost myself and I struggled to find the old me. I cried out for help in s very subtle way from February till June of this year. I lost 2 friends due to me not being more open to what I was going through. I had friends and family arguing over my illness and I just wanted everyone to get along! Hospital bills piling up to over hald a million dollars and the meds I still have to take to live are around $200 a month! So between bills, feeling so weak and worthless, losing friends, and just wanting the best for my family and not wanting my children to see my so weak and so sick. It took all I had to go to my husband, then my mother, and then my Dr that I was at the point where I was so afraid that I would wake up and not be able to control myself and I didnt know what I was capable of doing. So I took the step into what I thought was humility and told my Dr that I was so afraid that I was going to commit suicide. I got the help I needed. It can happen to anyone. I am so much better now thanks to my husband, family, and a few friends that was always there. I felt like I had no reason to be here anymore and that I was just a burden on everybody It was the scariest thing ever because it was not me. So PLEASE, if somebody shows ANY signs, Bite the bullet and help them. Others might not be able to risk the humility and get the help needed. I was lucky. So Im going to tag all the people who had faith in me and never gave up and just let me vent, truly saved my life even when they didnt know they were my heros. Its the small little things ;)
Posted on: Mon, 24 Nov 2014 18:54:30 +0000
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