I recently stayed at Kripalu, attending a seminar with Martha Beck. Read about my transformational experience: To change course – turn a Trim-tab. Change rarely happens suddenly, in a big swoop, unless we encounter severe trauma, crisis or other life-altering events. Likewise, when a big boat turns direction, the captain does not fling the rudder from one end to the other to initiate a sudden turn. Instead he turns the small Trim-tabs that one by one will move the boat around and charge a new course. I am not comparing you to a big boat, but we can take a lesson from the captain when attempting to change our own course. Changing little by little in small, incremental steps has been shown to be more effective long-term than sudden, dramatic leaps, and for sure, more comfortable. So how do you turn the Trim-tabs of your life? Our world is filled with advice on how to change, and the internet and bookstores overflow with self- help books and free articles like “10 ways to lose your belly” or “5 ways to a happier life” or “Manage your time in 3 easy steps”. As much as we consume books and articles on different ways to tweak or transform our messy, busy, overwhelming, depressing…..(fill in your own)…lives, it often leaves us inspired and recharged for only a moment or a week, and then we slip back into our routines until we stumble upon a new over-promising, under-delivering inspiration. What these books and articles don’t tell you (or sometimes they do, but you quickly tuck the information away in the “I’ll think about it later” –bin, which equals the big never- ever-going-to-happen-black-hole bin in your life) is that to create a shift in your body, your life, the earth, the universe…..you first need to create a shift within, and that is easiest done by changing “Trim-tabs” little by little. I just went to a retreat with Martha Beck at Kripalu, in the beautiful Berkshires of MA, where she taught us about change as “The experience of being more than ourselves.” Martha Beck has an amazing ability to explain complex ideas in a way so they become obvious and understandable, as in “Of course! I have known this my whole life!”- moments. For years, I have known the benefits of meditation, and have half-heartedly practiced more or less regularly, but Martha Beck used the word “Wordlessness” and easily taught us all to go into a deep meditative state where we were able to do amazing “magic” like bending spoons, communicate with our muscles and lift with super-strength. This was a lot of fun, of course, if you are into that sort of thing (all I can say is: I found my tribe!) but the most important message I came away with, was a new willingness to go into a state of stillness. According to Martha Beck, this is where you find your path to transformation. In this stillness you find unconditional love, for yourself first, then for those around you. She maintains that you cannot love others until you have self-love. When you experience this stillness, you also experience “one-ness” and from this space within yourself you will be able to imagine the change you desire and manifest it into lasting change. When finding your own Trim-tabs, she states, your path is lit with signs. First, ask yourself what you are yearning for. Do you have a passion? When did you last have fun? Then, when living your daily life, whenever you have a choice, choose what makes you most joyful or comfortable in that moment. Stay with what makes you the most happy and move away from what makes you feel sad, bad, angry etc. Pretty radical advice for people that walk around miserable most of the day, doing things they resent, feeling like they have no choice; but, she says, there is always choice, often limited at first, but always at least in the realm of our reaction to the world around us. Martha says, if you feel negative feelings, like resistance, fear or anger, you must not try to resist them. Resistance is futile. “What you resist persists”. Acknowledge the feeling and then send it love and compassion. This will make it less powerful and eventually it will go away…. dissolve… vanish. Embrace the negative thought, but then substitute that thought with a thought that causes less pain, one that feels truer and more freeing. For example: “I can’t do this” may create a feeling of sadness and hopelessness in your chest, while saying “ I am capable and I can do this step by step, as long as it feels right to me” gives you a feeling of freedom and optimism. This is a Trim-tab turn. If you want to reduce your caffeine intake and you switch to half decaf with a feeling of love towards yourself, this is a Trim-tab turn. When you start looking for things that make you feel good, it helps to have a “mouse view” instead of an “eagle’s view” of your life. Try to find the little changes first. What to feed yourself, (the doughnut may make you feel good when eating it, but does it make you feel hungry and sluggish later? What could you eat that tastes good and gives you energy? Are there people that make you feel bad when you are around them? Can you seek out people that make you feel good? What can you focus on that makes you feel better? Do you have a pet? Does being in nature give you a tranquil feeling? Do you listen to your favorite music? What makes you laugh? How can you pamper yourself? Can you say no to someone who wants you to do them a favor you don’t want to do? These are your individual Trim-tabs that you can turn, one by one, little by little. It may not seem like much at first, but as you flex your “feel good muscle” again and again, these small changes will turn into bigger changes, and your choices will appear bigger and with more impact, until you find yourself with a new body, or in a new place, a new job or a new relationship that feels much more authentically you. Just by turning Trim-tabs, and looking back, you will realize that you have moved mountains by turtle steps. Martha Beck says her life is a balance between play and rest, the only two things she does with her time. How is that possible? The rest of us have jobs to do; mouths, mortgages and retirement funds to feed….. Martha says that as hard as she works (and she is no sloth, with three Harvard degrees, several best-selling books under her belt, as well as a thriving Life Coach business), it feels like play to her, because she only does what feels good to her. After many life altering changes she is now living a life where she is very successfully following her own “North Star” (another of her books) and has been able to manifest her personal Eden at her California ranch as well as her African wilderness retreat. She has become a master at manifesting an authentic life, and she describes her journey in all of her many books. So back to you…..Will this change be sustainable? Or will it peter out after a week or a month, and leave you feeling disillusioned and discouraged once again? The bottom line is this: It will be sustainable if you remember the most important thing, the lesson above all lessons: To go within…..and be still. Feeling stillness and oneness naturally alleviates so many of our modern problems of ego-driven pursuits and restless hunger for lifeless objects and lifeless foods to alleviate boredom and a hunger for a meaningful life. It also gets you in touch with the one who holds all the answers: your inner self or your Mega-self as she calls it. Martha believes that if we can get enough people to go within and find stillness and oneness, we can not only change our own lives for the better, but as a sort of side effect we can initiate a radical change in how our world functions, and move into a new era of human consciousness and peaceful living, literally saving the world. As for me, I am home rejuvenated and inspired, with a long list of Trim-tabs. A week-end with Martha, yoga, meditation, Rumi poetry, rest and whole foods did wonders for body and soul. It was a great feeling when the spoon turned to butter in my hands, bending to my suggestion, but it can’t compare to the feeling of joyful peace I experience when I go into stillness and feel enveloped with love and realize that all is indeed well with my world. I hope to be able to sustain and convey this peace to my family, friends and clients, as my new intention is to live the words in Hafiz’s” Love poem to God”: “Troubled? Then stay with me, for I am not”. Troubled? Then stay with me, for I am not. Lonely? A thousand naked amorous ones dwell In ancient caves beneath my Eye. Riches? Here’s the pick: My whole body is an Emerald That begs:” Take me” Write all that bothers you On a parchment. Offer it to God. Even from this distance of a Millennium, I can reach out the Flame from my heart into your life And turn All that frightens You into Holy Ash. Anne Barrington is an RN and Holistic Health Coach in private practice in Raleigh, NC. You can find her at Annemaritwellness or on facebook at https://facebook/AnneMaritWellness?ref=hl. For more information about Martha Beck visit marthbeck
Posted on: Tue, 20 Aug 2013 01:07:16 +0000
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