I saw a former classmate of mine on TV now a priest in a big parish conducting mass with politicians in church and lots of offerings being given and I would love to share the thoughts that passed though my mind as I sat and suddenly reality begun to force me to make checks into my life...Well I was in my house alone, lying on the bed in boxer shorts and no shirt reading people statuses on fb and a book and pen next to me about to plan to work and routes for this coming week. (Am in charge of an entire province and am required to visit almost all towns weekly so sundays is planning time...but as I was about to do this, and my friend the priest was busy talking about love and simplicity of life, I remembered how it was when we was boys and we talked about us becoming simple priests with no wife and kids...well today we both dont have wives and kids but we on two different sides of the world...as I though about this the reality of human loneliness touched my deep down in my soul and I felt the human need for a deeper under to the meaning of life. Am alone, in a new town, a new job and wilding quiet a good amount of influence but it seems the higher I push my life the colder and lonelier it gets up here...I sat and reflected about my situation and truth finally begun to strike me...I thought should I leave it all and like a coward run back to priesthood? Will that make me happy? I couldnt do that. The things Ive done and seen make me ashamed before the face of God! I thought about my life critically and it hit me again, this time harder....Reality struck straight into my soul like lightening! And I realised and confessed to myself that Am not the strongest guy morally, hey am not even close to holy. Am just a normal young black guy trying to find his way and meaning in life, sometimes I drink sometimes I hit on the girls but hey, what can I say about from LIFE GOES ON..I have vowed to myself to live a different kind of life and never to be dictated by society, I will be my own man and make a difference in my own way..but truth be spoken today, the more I reflect on the meaning of life, the more lost I feel! MAYBE ONE OF YOU READING THIS HAS FOUND THE ANSWERS I DARE YOU TO TELL ME ITS MEANING OF LIFE ...even though I may feel this deep quest to seek out life and live it with a purpose it not all lost.. each day when I open my inbox and I receive a text saying you helped me realise I was wrong and I decided to live a better life through your writings and stories mwebantu ala am forced to behave and live better and work harder.....for now am alone, like a soldier at war I lead a quite life, sometimes I get lonely, I experience the frustrations and hardships like any human being and little money and success that has come to make this year hasnt really brought me the happiness and liberation I thought money brings, its has only awakened a deeper search for the meaning of life and the key to happiness. From this lesson Ive learnt that maybe not even a new relationship can make me happy......so what have I learnt so far? Well Ive learnt that sometimes life only make sense when you live it for others. There is no happiness and joy if its not shared, now I deeply grasp with all clarity and deep understanding what the bible means when it speaks and declares, love is never love, UNTIL IT IS SHARED AND GIVEN AWAY...we can never have everything, but we can share the little we have with others and be happy, that is sharing time our, our resources, our ideas (like what am trying to do through Pishamo Pen page) and our help to those that need it...from my heart I now realise CONTENTMENT is the realization that i need to appreciate what i have; family, friends, wife, children, etc. even if these cannot make me FULLY HAPPY.....I MUST MAKE A DIFFERENCE FOR OTHER.....#Via deep in thought#
Posted on: Sun, 19 Oct 2014 11:54:56 +0000
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